The Guide to Conquering Earthlings

Chapter 5

Xie Cheng eventually let the person into his house.

He wanted to see what this assistant sent by Xie Jing was all about.

Coming to his house at three in the morning, and it was a woman too, a very pretty one, claiming she was here to report to work...

A man and a woman alone together.

Xie Cheng couldn't help but sneer coldly.

Her previous incomprehensible behavior now had an explanation - she really was trying to get his attention.

Looking at it this way, her previous actions that didn't follow normal social logic now had a pattern and context - she was behaving so differently solely to pique his curiosity in an unorthodox way - in social logic, this was a common tactic women used to attract men.

Xie Cheng had Lan Xi wait in the living room while he went to check the surveillance footage from his front gate first.

How could she possibly have opened his locked gate by herself?

It seemed that behind this Lan Xi, Xie Jing had also assigned her a team.

Only Xie Cheng's expression gradually froze as he watched the footage of Lan Xi easily twisting open the lock in just two or three tries.

Other than Lan Xi, there really was no one else.

And when he walked back to the living room with a dark look, Lan Xi immediately bounced up from the sofa.

She was glowing and aggressive: "Director Xie! I'll report to you now!"

...

Half an hour later, Xie Cheng finally realized that this woman really had come just to report to work.

She had broken normal human behavioral logic once again, refuting Xie Cheng's deductions with actual actions.

Xie Cheng stared at her, starting to consider other possible behavioral patterns under these circumstances.

Could it be that coming to report to him so late at night really was just this assistant trying to showcase her work abilities?

The lack of sleep made Xie Cheng's head spin: "You've done very well, but it's too late today. Go back first and we'll continue tomorrow..."

This was a good way for him to bow out. Xie Cheng believed his implied meaning was already clear enough.

Yet Lan Xi's response was to stare at him in disbelief: "But Director Xie, it's already tomorrow now! And it's not even 4:30 yet! Still very early! The plan for the day lies in the morning! Now is the perfect time to work!"

"..."

Lan Xi stared at Xie Cheng, seemingly having a sudden realization as she tentatively asked: "Or could it be you're tired already? Feeling tired so early, could your health really be that poor?"

The guidebook said a good subordinate shouldn't just assist their boss at work, but also be considerate and observant of the boss's condition in daily life, caring for the boss's health and making the boss feel warm inside.

Lan Xi racked her brains for the name of a health supplement, asking concernedly: "Should I make you some tiger whip wine to replenish your health?"

"..."

Under Lan Xi's caring words, Xie Cheng was warmed as expected.

His eyes looked so warmed they were nearly on fire: "You're telling me to drink tiger whip wine? I'm not tired! I don't need it!"

Lan Xi examined him closely. Xie Cheng really didn't seem to need it now. He was brimming with vigor, his eyes even revealing a murderous glint.

The guidebook didn't lie to me!

Lan Xi didn't doubt it for a second: "Then I'll continue my report! Just now I gave you the classification summary and analysis report on last year's precipitation data. Next I'll explain to you the correlation between multi-year average relative humidity and precipitation..."

...

The sky outside went from dark to light, and Lan Xi noticed that Xie Cheng had started frequently drinking some jet black liquid with ice cubes. Each time he drank it, his spirits seemed to perk up, but the fair skin under his eyes seemed to be stained by the black drink.

The more he drank, the more obvious the blackness under his eyes became.

The guidebook said some Earth people would ingest addictive and harmful substances. Each time they would inhale or ingest it, becoming temporarily stimulated, but there would be obvious side effects and after-effects after ingesting it.

This completely matched Xie Cheng's condition.

Wasn't he ingesting it through a straw!

And his after-effects, other than the skin under his eyes being stained black, also included listless spirits - Lan Xi had already seen Xie Cheng yawning. He looked extremely sleepy.

Although Xie Cheng could still ask professional questions about the data models in her report, Lan Xi felt very conflicted.

Her boss, his health really was a bit weak.

Four hours later when she finally finished her report and just left Xie Cheng's house, she received a call from Xie Jing to go see him in his office.

As the newly stationed spy by Xie Cheng's side, Xie Jing had high hopes for Lan Xi -

"You're familiar with Xie Cheng's side now right? You can tell me anything about the situation with Xie Cheng at any time, through texts or emails. It's all fine."

Xie Jing's attitude was very kind, his tone gentle and coaxing.

Seeing such a caring uncle who was so responsible towards his nephew, Lan Xi couldn't keep it in.

"Director Xie, Xie Cheng's work abilities seem fine, but his physical strength is lacking, his health is very weak, and he's ingesting addictive substances, leading to low energy and a darkened complexion with obvious after-effects."

This news clearly shocked Xie Jing. His eyes widened: "Really?"

Lan Xi's voice was sincere: "Absolutely true, I saw it with my own eyes. He had no restraint ingesting the addictive drink, drinking cup after cup."

Xie Jing pondered for a moment, his expression fluctuating wildly before finally calming down again, a look of approval on his face: "You've done very well, observing very closely and bringing me information I didn't know at all before. I'll double your bonus this time."

Xie Jing had always been wary of Xie Cheng, mainly because his own son Xie Yunfei was useless, and he was afraid that once he let go, management of the group would fall back into Xie Cheng's hands.

Who could have thought Xie Cheng was actually addicted to drugs?!

No wonder the other spies had all said before that Xie Cheng always seemed to have endless energy, like a perpetual motion machine at work. Turns out it was all an illusion, all relying on addictive drugs to maintain it.

Xie Jing happily tapped the table. He felt like heaven was helping him.

A difficult personality, relying on addictive drugs to maintain his outward appearance as a workaholic, but his body was nearly depleted, so weak - it seemed Xie Cheng was just making a final struggle.

Moreover, if Xie Cheng wanted to take over Chen'an in the future, he only had to reveal Xie Cheng's drug addiction to easily bring him down.

He looked at Lan Xi: "Next time, if you have a chance, bring me the stuff he's addicted to. And take videos as evidence when he's ingesting it."

After Lan Xi left, Xie Jing nearly laughed out loud.

Finding evidence and getting a handle on Xie Cheng was imminent!

This new assistant really was so capable and excellent!

**

"Give this new assistant some work to do," Xie Cheng clearly didn't think so on the other hand. "There are still many outstanding data organization and analysis issues in the past three years of meteorological data to resolve. Give them all to her."

Cao An was a bit surprised: "With that much work, she definitely won't be able to finish it."

Xie Cheng drank some iced americano while coldly saying: "No, her workload is completely unsaturated. She can still do more."

Although not knowing what had happened, Cao An was still a bit concerned about Xie Cheng's state today: "Weren't you always very spirited? Why have you already drank so many cups of black coffee today and still seem very sleepy? And the dark eye circles under your eyes are so heavy?"

Xie Cheng rubbed between his brows, lips pressed together, not wanting to explain.

He really was very tired. Lan Xi showing up in the middle of the night to give her report, he should have just kicked her out, but the content she reported was truly very professional and well-spoken, and her data processing and archiving abilities also surprised Xie Cheng.

As for her energy, that left Xie Cheng even more shocked.

He glanced outside the office. This person was currently still glowing and chatting with every colleague.

Xie Cheng drank another mouthful of iced americano, determined to go to the gym again tonight to train more, then sleep early and well to store up energy.

In Xie Cheng's dictionary, it had always been bosses running assistants ragged, he definitely couldn't let this assistant run him ragged first.

Her unpredictable behavioral patterns made Xie Cheng feel confused, but it also provoked in him a sense of challenge - as someone who believed in algorithms, he still firmly believed there must be a core logic behind Lan Xi's actions. He just needed to peel away her surface behaviors full of distracting embellishments, excavate her true intentions within, and he would ultimately be able to grasp and predict her behavior.

Just like how bugs can occur when a program is running, Lan Xi was a bug, and debugging her would make this program more perfect.

Xie Cheng felt it was time to update his summary of social logic algorithms.

**

Lan Xi ate a nice breakfast at Xie Cheng's new employee cafeteria, then regained her energy.

Her initial demonstration of work ability did earn Old Boss Xie Cheng's appreciation, so she was really entrusted with important tasks. Xie Cheng gave her several years of meteorological data to archive and analyze.

The first time handling meteorological data, she was not yet familiar, but now the second time, she knew the ropes, so her efficiency was higher.

By 9 pm, Lan Xi had processed all the data. Then she dashed to Xie Cheng's villa once again.

**

When Xie Cheng heard the knock at the door, he was just about to go to bed. Then he saw from the monitor Lan Xi standing expectantly at the door, ready to twist the knob open.

"..."

This was the door he had just had someone replace this morning. Xie Cheng could not tolerate having it changed again after just two days.

He had no choice but to quickly go to the door and open it—

Outside was Lan Xi's enthusiastic face: "Boss Xie, I've come to report again!"

Xie Cheng felt he had no patience left: "You already reported from 3 am to 7 am this morning."

He looked coldly at Lan Xi, expressionless: "Now it's 9 pm, and you've come to report again. This is too tiring for you. I think you might as well live at my house, save you the trouble of running back and forth."

Although bosses liked hard-working employees, bosses also needed private life and rest. Xie Cheng really could not accept Lan Xi's style of making no distinction between work and personal time.

He thought he had expressed himself so clearly that as long as Lan Xi was not an idiot, she should be able to understand the implied meaning and leave like a normal person.

Sure enough, the new assistant froze for a moment, then showed a look of realization.

She nodded seriously: "I understand! Then I won't report for now!"

Looks like there was still hope. She's not an idiot after all. This time Xie Cheng's meaning got through.

Xie Cheng breathed a sigh of relief, glad that there was still some logic in Lan Xi's behavior, though just as he was about to close the door, Lan Xi forcefully blocked and then pushed it open.

"What are you doing? Weren't you not reporting anymore?"

Facing Xie Cheng's question, Lan Xi smiled sheepishly, showing some embarrassment: "I'm indeed not reporting now. Just asking, would it be convenient for me to take a look first at which room I'll be staying in? Let me get a feel for the overall living environment?"

"..."

Lan Xi explained: "Let me first survey the living environment. If it's better than the employee dorm I'm staying in now, then I can go back and pack up right away. Later I can move in myself, and then it'll definitely be convenient for me to report to you anytime."

"............"

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