The Life Of Normal-Taro

Chapter 45: Teenage angst

The next day; MIB base, Snehatheeram. Lonappan was seen heading into Ponnappan's office. He didn't seem in much of a hurry. Judging by that, one could confirm that it wasn't something really important. Even if it was, the annoyance in his face clearly showed that he was being summoned for some reason.

Without wasting any time, Lonappan stormed through the office door of Ponnappan. "What is it? Why did you call me out?" He asked, as he got himself comfortable. He still had the annoyed look on his face though.

"Sheesh, dude! Don't be throwing darts with your eyes like that!" A startled Ponnappan replied, before he composed himself. "So, what happened with Taro's fight?" He asked.

"What do you think happened?" Lonappan asked back.

"Well, for starters, I would've expected half a building to get destroyed and huge commotion to happen around the indoor stadium. Seeing that nothing substantial that would literally collapse us happened yesterday, something definitely meddled with the fight. What is it?" Ponnappan couldn't suppress his curiosity.

"Dude, you're supposed to be the head of this base. You're supposed to have your eyes at the very least, throughout the entire city of Thrissur!" Lonappan sighed.

"Well, you lot are supposed to be my eyes and ears now, aren't you? So, why don't you cough up what happened yesterday and we could just disperse this small meeting of ours?" Ponnappan ordered in a commanding voice.

"Fine! Taro automatically won the tournament since there weren't enough fighters to face him. There weren't any actually." Lonappan gave out a summary of what happened.

"Hmm, that's concerning. So, what are we supposed to do now?" Ponnappan asked.

"About that. Taro said that there's a state-level tournament next week. Apparently, his master's fierce rival's disciple would be participating in it." Lonappan replied.

"Ho? Battle of the disciples, I see. I believe you gave him the permission to attend the tournament?" He asked.

"Yes."

"That's great. However, don't the aliens suspect you since you've been so benevolent lately?" Ponnappan asked.

"Don't worry about that! I do what I want anyway. They'd just think that I'm in my weekly defy the authority mood. Either that or they'd think I'm doing pot or something." Lonappan replied.

"Well, it seems like you've got plenty of experience in this 'defy the authority' mood that you speak of. We might just have to have a talk someday." Ponnappan spoke.

"Yea, sure! As if that would happen!" Lonappan chuckled as he headed towards the door.

"Hey, I can hear you!" Ponnappan replied as he heard that.

"It's not like I was particularly hiding it or something! See ya!" Lonappan was about to get out of the office when Ponnappan stopped him for the last time.

"Wait. I'mma ask this to you, just out of curiosity. Did someone actually record the events that happened yesterday in that tournament?" He asked.

"Well, since nothing happened, I don't think so?" Lonappan was pretty vague about the reply that he gave, since he forgot about one important thing, which he realized soon enough.

"Let me rephrase the question for you then. Did someone actually head to the tournament with Taro at that time?" He asked.

"No?"

Ponnappan sighed. "I'm just gonna pretend like I didn't hear that this one time, since nothing really happened yesterday. However, think about it! What would you have done if something had actually happened, like if Taro actually got to fight? One, you wouldn't have got the footage to prove that Taro isn't a calamity threat. Two, even if he was and subconsciously released his real strength, you wouldn't be able to use the neuralyzer and calm down the situation. And three, related to two by the way, what the fuck would you have done if he was one! That would literally mean that you let out a walking time bomb capable of destroying the entire planet into a martial arts tournament with civilians everywhere!" He explained.

"Truth be told, if he's a calamity threat and he actually fucks up and releases his true strength, this planet would be blown into smithereens even if we were around." Lonappan replied.

"I know! However, that doesn't mean that you couldn't do your job! At least feel guilty about it, man!" Ponnappan cried upon hearing his subordinate's nonchalant reply.

After putting some thought behind it, Lonappan finally replied. "Very well! I shall appoint Thankappan on that duty."

"Sure. But I don't get it. What happened to you? You were supposed to be the most senior official under me, you know? You are the role model of some of the guys around here. Then, how did you even make such a rookie mistake?" Ponnappan asked.

"I don't know, if you ask me. Sometimes, I feel like I don't give a shit about anything. Sometimes, I feel like fucking it up intentionally. And other times, I have no idea about the things I do. Does that answer your question?" Lonappan asked.

"You're in that stage of life, huh? Well, shit happens! You just gotta go through with it." Ponnappan replied.

However, Lonappan didn't quite get it. "What do you mean? What stage of life?" He asked.

"Okay, listen carefully now. You're going through a certain phase called teenage angst. Now, now! Don't get cranky! Mood swings are common in these times. So, take it easy and communicate with me as much as possible." Ponnappan replied, as he made weird hand gestures and repeatedly chanted 'Sun's getting real low' for some reason, which didn't work for Lonappan.

"The fuck, man? I'm nearly thirty, you know? Which means I'm closer to a midlife crisis than I am to a teenage angst!" He exclaimed.

Ponnappan sighed, stopping those weird hand gestures he made. "Yea, yea! You are a real grown man capable of making human babies. However, if you ask me, you sure reached your physical maturity, but your mental growth is still at puberty even though you are really smart and make quick witted decisions. It's not a big deal though! I believe that each one of us had a mental age of five when we actually became a field agent, since we honed our combat and intellect, however forgot to pick up common sense along the way." He explained.

Somehow, this opened a whole new world before Lonappan. "Whoa! That explains why Thankappan acts like he does at times! That's exactly how my son used to act when he was five, except Thankappan has a better IQ, of course!"

"Well, you tend to notice it in your juniors rather than yourself. Although, Thankappan is a special case though. The dungeon deformed his mental age more than us. So, he has the mental age of like three." Ponnappan replied.

"I see. However, I'm not gonna retract my previous statement though!" Lonappan spoke.

"Hah, I get it. You tried so hard to draw up a similarity and I ruined it the very next sentence. I apologize for that." Ponnappan shrugged.

"That's fine. I'll get going then." Lonappan headed out before he voluntarily stopped this time around. "Hey, you weren't kidding, right?" He asked.

"About what, exactly?"

"Well, about how you'll have a talk with me about my angst?" He asked.

"Oh, yea! I wasn't kidding. You can swing by anytime you want and have a talk with me!" Ponnappan replied.

Upon hearing this, Lonappan closed the door from the inside. "I see. I'll take upon that offer now!" He jumped back into his seat and thus began an hourlong session of literal gibberish.

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Few hours later. Lonappan had already returned from the MIB base and he felt refreshed for the first time in a long time. Therefore, when he saw that Thankappan had not yet woken up, rather than doing the usual shenanigans, he proceeded gently.

"Hey, Thankappan! Wake up, sunshine!" Lonappan whispered in his junior's ears.

"Mmm, don't do it! It's tickling my ears!" Thankappan moaned in his sleep.

Lonappan chuckled. "Well, you still got to wake up though! And I have just the method!" He said as he proceeded to tickle him all over.

"What the hell am I watching?" Kunjan, who heard the laughter and headed towards Thankappan bore witness to that unholy scene.

"Hey, plankton! Well, isn't this how you manage a three year old child?" Lonappan asked as continued tickling Thankappan.

"But, he isn't never mind. Continue with your shenanigans." Kunjan gave up midway and headed back to the kitchen.

"What the!" It seemed like another comrade had fallen from witnessing the unholy scene. It was Taro. He didn't even utter a single word after that and headed straight towards the kitchen, where the only woke person in the household was. "Did you see what was happening in there?" He asked.

"I did." Kunjan nodded.

"What is he doing?" He asked.

"Can't you see? He's tickling Thankappan. He's managing a three year old, it seems." He replied.

"Huh? What? Why? How?" Taro was riddled by more questions than answers at this point.

"Don't try to question what you saw. Just accept it and move on as far as you could. That's the only thing we could do right now." Kunjan replied.

Unfortunately the other two aliens fall prey to this scene as well and it completely ruined their days. Upon realizing what had happened, Thankappan asked Lonappan to never do that again, which he reluctantly agreed. And thus, slowly but surely, everything reverted back to normal in the Holy Land household.

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