Chapter 74: A Loner's Ugly Thoughts?
[AWUOR]
"D… Don't say anything about it. Assume it didn't happen," Hawi said after their heated makeup session. She was still reeling from the aftereffects of the contact and the fact that this time, she had gone in like she owned Rukiya Greyson.
The fact that the Greyson alpha hadn't once objected to the contact was something else, but then they both knew that she was down so bad for Hawi, the woman who wasn't even sure what she had done right now.
Maybe it was just her grieving and Rukiya was the closest person to her at the moment, maybe it was because the last time she had run away and today she couldn't, maybe it was because she didn't want to keep speculating about the kiss that never was.
Then again would it make it any better especially now that she had clearly crossed a line with Rukiya? Was it ever going to be just enough for her to tell the alpha to forget the kiss ever happened?
What of their swollen lips? What of the sparks that had erupted at their contact? What of how much she had loved the kiss? What of the emotions she had been feeling when she lured Rukiya in?
And more than anything, would Awuor Hawi deny the safety she felt when she was around the woman? Was she going to be at it again?
Oh, but Hawi was complicated as hell and her reality was something she never paid attention to because if she did, she could have figured out that she had done the impossible with one of the wildest and most dangerous alphas in their society.
"If that's what you wish, Awuor," Rukiay said softly as she turned her focus on the mad woman's leg that was slowly whaling. She had done a good job fixing her earlier and they just had to wait for her to feel a little better before Hawi went back to the Clarkson pack.
"Your leg is healing pretty well. There are some issues I need to sort back home, so I'll take my leave," Rukiya said as she got up and dusted herself up. She had taken the hint clearly and she knew that there was just no point in her pushing forward her attraction to Hawi.
She had been through enough rejections with the woman and while this time, Hawi hadn't quite rejected her, Rukiya figured that she could at least leave with some of her pride. She loved Hawi, but the woman was stubborn and a pain.
Granted, Rukiya had always wanted to stay beside Hawi, and she wanted to be there to console Hawi, especially now that her papa was dead, but then Rukiya was smart to know when she wasn't needed. Maybe she would come back at another time.
Perhaps her advances this time were wrongly timed. She would just wait for the day Hawi wanted her to show up, and she would come, after all, they had a blood oath between them. Then again, there was a chance that Rukiya would still come even without the blood oath.
"You're leaving?" Hawi said, her voice so different from the prideful one she had been using on Rukiya in the past few weeks.
"Yeah. My people need me," Rukiya said, her tone so neutral that Hawi felt a pan in her heart for the first time in so long. She couldn't explain the sudden emotion and it was new to her, but would she express it to Rukiya this time?
"Oh," Hawi let out defeatedly.
"Take care of yourself alright? And stay alert," Rukiya said, as she kissed Hawi one last time on the forehead and began walking away.
It hadn't been her intention to leave Hawi like that, and she wanted to go back, but she needed to leave. She needed to choose herself this time. She had always shown up for Hawi and fought her battles and right now, Rukiya Greyson needed a break.
"You too. Be careful on your way home, Ruru," Hawi whispered softly as she watched Rukiya leave.
Hawi didn't want her to leave. Hell, she wanted to stop Rukiya, but then the woman said she had pack issues to attend to. Hawi knew just how important packs were to them as alphas and she couldn't blame Rukiya this time.
Sure, she had a feeling that Rkiuya had left because of what she had said, but then Hawi couldn't even confirm it for herself. Instead, she hopelessly sat on the stone Rukiya had left her on as she watched the woman disappear into the woods.
For a moment there, Hawi felt like she had done something that she shouldn't have, but what else was she supposed to do then? How else was she supposed to tell Rukiya that she hadn't said what she had just because she was a mean girl in mourning?
How else was she to tell Rukiya that this time, she had wanted to be with Rukiya and not because of the damn blood oath?
Hawi was suddenly so frustrated, and she knew it wasn't a good sign for her. She needed to get her head back in the game, otherwise, she would lose more than just Rukiya walking away from her and leaving her with a hurting heart she couldn't even explain.
"Why am I suddenly worried about her? Fuck," Hawi scolded herself when she realized she had been staring at the spot Rukiya had disappeared in from the past two hours. Her leg had already exhaled and she could walk back home or even run, and yet she had been stuck here.
"Did I do something wrong? Is Greyson in danger?" Hawi asked no one in particular though there was no clear answer for her. Rukiya was gone and Adolf was most certainly already at the Greyson pack by now.
Hawi looked around her, her anxiety about Rukiya making her feel like she needed to follow the woman home. She was suddenly feeling like she needed to make sure Rukiya reached home safely.
Granted, she wouldn't be able to explain what she was feeling right now but then she could figure it out later. So sighing, she got up and began walking towards Greyson too. Funny how she was the one tailing Rukiya this time when she had been whining about it earlier.
The road to Greyson wasn't long and it didn't take long before Hawi reached the end of the woods, the one spot where she could see the gates of the Greyson pack.
She had seen Rukiya earlier and her heart had fluttered, something she would deny a hundred times if asked though.
She had made sure to see for herself if the woman had reached home and more importantly, if Greyson was in danger and needed reinforcements.
Hawi knew was the perfect reinforcement in case of anything, because away from being the crazy banished alpha with parental issues, she was the strongest alpha in the realm and the white wolf of their century. She was power and everything else in between.
"What am I even doing here?" Hawi asked herself when she realized where she was. This was something she wouldn't have done on a normal day, especially on the day when she had just heard about her papa's murder.
Maybe she had gone insane right?
"Do I care for the young Greyson?"
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