Chapter 46 - The Scum Is Naive
Fan Wen didn't know, and was unjustly bullied. Then, Xi Peng told Fan Wen the truth and told Fan Wen to stay away from Xie Lan since Xie Lan is going to get married later. Fan Wen was shocked and didn't know what to do. He is heartbroken. He already felt Xie Lan is far from him in terms of cultivation. Now, Xie Lan just became farther. But, he didn't want to leave Xie Lan. Xi Peng perfectly grasped Xie Lan's weakness – Fan Wen. In Fan Wen's moment of indecision, he was attacked from behind and almost got killed had not the elders of the Shanliangde Sect arrived and saved Fan Wen. They arrived, together with Xi Peng – who orchestrated this all. Fan Wen then realized, he can't be with Xie Lan. Thus, he distanced himself from Xie Lan.
Xie Lan noticed this and was about to confront Fan Wen when Xi Ling, his youngest brother, blocked him. Then, he saw Fan Wen and his younger brother interacted. He was filled with hate and jealousy. He felt a monster in his heart and it's eating his heart. Then, he assaulted Fan Wen. That was the second mistake he did. The next morning and he heard Fan Wen was burning in fever and half-conscious. Then, he found out it was the nth time Fan Wen went to the clinic. And, it was the second time Fan Wen went there in a life and death state. Xie Lan heard from the doctor that Fan Wen's injuries from the other day recurred. Xie Lan felt killing himself right there and then. Xi Ling finally come up and talked to him, telling him all the things Fan Wen suffered. Xie Lan blamed him.
Why didn't Xi Ling tell him that Fan Wen was being bullied? Why didn't Xi Ling tell him that it wasn't their parents' fault he lived in the streets? Why didn't Xi Ling tell him… why…? Then, he made a decision. He cut off all his ties to the Xi family. He didn't care about Xi Ling if he'll be left with Xi Peng. Next, he left the Shanliangde Sect that is rotten to the core. Then, he took the unconscious Fan Wen with him and find a doctor on the way.
"Wen… Wenwen…" Xie Lan called as he cried on Fan Wen's bed. He can't bear to look at Fan Wen's pale and weak face. He held Fan Wen's hand tight. He's afraid to lose him again. "Wenwen…" he called, crying. "Don't leave me… please… I can't bear it. I can't bear to lose you. I'm sorry – " he sobbed. "I'm sorry… I caused you pain. I made you suffer. I'm sorry, Wenwen…" he said as he looked at Fan Wen's sickly face. "Wenwen… you must hate me now…" he bitterly laughed. "After all, I am the reason why you become like this." He sniffed. His cold hands cupped Fan Wen's face. "Wenwen…" he called as he stared at Fan Wen. "I can't live without you. The person who hurt you… I'll kill Xi Peng." He said. "Then, I'll kill myself." He said and kissed Fan Wen's forehead as his tears fell on Fan Wen's face. He closed his eyes tight, then stood up. He didn't turn back. He's afraid that if he did, Fan Wen would be gone. However, his feet didn't move. "Wenwen…" he muttered under his breath and his eyes widened when he felt a hand as cold as his held his hand. He turned and saw Fan Wen looking at him. "Wenwen – " he called, then held Fan Wen's hand tightly. Their hands are both cold but, surprisingly, warmth filled their body and heart as they gazed at each other.
"You said I shouldn't leave…" Fan Wen weakly said. "You said you can't live without me. Then, why are you leaving?" he asked. "Have you never thought… that I might also can't live without you?" he looked at Xie Lan's eyes.
Xie Lan's eyes were filled with tears. He fell on his knees, his hand still holding Fan Wen's. "Wenwen…" he called, his voice like a child complaining and feeling wronged. "Why are you so good…?" he asked and bawled. But, he never let go of Fan Wen's hand. It is his source of warmth in this cold world. Fan Wen is his sun, filling his cold life with warmth and lighting up his dark world. Fan Wen… he is his home. He is his life.
Fan Wen smiled and coughed. He still felt sick. However, like Xie Lan, he didn't let go of Xie Lan's hand. Just like that, he fell asleep holding Xie Lan's hand tightly while Xie Lan knelt beside his bed and stayed with him for the whole night. Xie Lan finally stayed beside him again.
Xie Lan… will stay with him for the rest of their life.
Present -
"Whew!" Cheng Sheng exclaimed and wiped the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve. "That was such a heavy backstory – wait. Founder?! You still have another flashback?! Wait, wah!" he exclaimed and covered his face after he saw Xie Lan's nostalgic expression.
Xie Lan is still not done with his flashbacks.
Flashback
"Lan." Fan Wen called after they established the Xinfaxian and built the Xinfaxian Sect with the help of the residents. They were gazing at the stars, lying on the roof of their residence in the Xinfaxian Sect. He looked at Xie Lan and saw his serious expression as he gazed at the dark sky. "Xiao Ling is just a child. He can only follow his uncle's orders to not be scolded and punished. I am the one who told him that." He said. He knew that Xie Lan must be thinking about what happened in the Shanliangde Sect. "And – " he smiled. " – Xiao Ling always gives me medicine to heal my wounds. Brings me food when I'm hungry. And talks to me whenever I am alone. He was also the one who called the elders of the Shanliangde Sect, so he saved me." He looked at Xie Lan as Xie Lan looked at him. "Yes. Those times when you are not there. Xiao Ling accompanies me. So, can you forgive the child?" he asked. "Xiao Ling didn't mean it when he left me back then. I was the one who told him to run away." He lowered his head. "Xiao Ling… he is also suffering." He told Xie Lan. He closed his eyes and his tears fell.
"Wen…" Xie Lan called and hugged Fan Wen, embracing him in his arms.
Flashback end
"Brother…" Xi Ling called from behind them.
Cheng Sheng turned. He almost screamed from what he heard. Fortunately, he managed to hold himself back at the last second. 'brother'?! Cheng Sheng looked at Xie Lan. Was that the brother I am thinking about?! He thought, screaming in his mind beneath his cold exterior. He immediately excused himself and half-ran back to Chen Jing's room.
Xi Ling ignored Cheng Sheng as he walked towards Xie Lan. "Father and mother didn't abandon you when you were young." He said and looked at Xie Lan's back. He felt his chest tightened and a lump on his throat. "They thought you were kidnapped. They tried to find you, but uncle already sold you. What uncle told you that day… he's lying to you!" he said and balled his fists. "Father and mother didn't make this matter known to everybody since they didn't want everyone to know that the heir was lost. But – " he said and looked at the back of Xie Lan's head. " – they didn't lose hope! They are hoping you will be reunited again! And the time came! However – " his tears fell. " – uncle broke your trust to them…" he sobbed. "Why…" he cried. "… they died, heartbroken…" he fell on his knees and cried in his hands.
Xie Lan drew a sharp breath. He closed his eyes and didn't answer. Xi Ling's cries were gone with the wind. Xie Lan deeply regretted it. His fight with his parents… what he done to Fan Wen… he was naïve to believe Xi Peng. He can't turn back the time. All he could do now is to learn from the past to make decisions that, now, he shouldn't regret. He slowly turned to Xi Ling who was crying on the floor. He saw the past Xi Ling, who also cried the same way as he did now. Him standing before Xi Ling was like the him in the past when he blamed Xi Ling. He realized, they both never moved on from the past. Fan Wen who suffered the most had moved on instead. "Xiao Ling." He called. "Stand up." He said and reached out his hand to Xi Ling.
Xi Ling raised his head and looked at him, his face tear-stained. "Brother…?" he called, shocked.
Xie Lan stared at him, then smiled. He took Xi Ling's hand and pulled him towards him and hugged him tight. He closed his eyes as he buried his face on his younger brother's shoulder. "… I hope you can forgive me – " he said. "Please forgive me… please forgive your elder brother…" his lips quivered. "Brother never saw your suffering. I am sorry… Xiao Ling." He said and sobbed.
"Brother…" Xi Ling muttered, his eyes wide in shock. Then, he sobbed. "Brother!" he cried and hugged him back tightly.
Xie Lan laughed while crying. They are really brothers, bawling while their cry. However, as the elder brother, he should stop acting like a child. And, fortunately, he did. He had one child to raise – Fan Wen. Now, he had one another – Xi Ling.
Ah – he thought when he remembered something. I forgot, I had six. He thought, thinking of Cheng Sheng, Fei Yin, Li Tian and Feng Mo. Fortunately, two of the children are adults – Fan Wen and Xi Ling. He should also train the other four to become adults, so that he would have less headaches.
Xinfaxian, Xinfaxian Sect.
Fan Wen smiled as he looked at his hand that Xie Lan held that night. He felt sweetness crept up in his heart and he can't help but giggle. "Lan ah…" he muttered as he closed his eyes. The sun in the sky can't be compared with the warmth he felt from Xie Lan's hand that night.
"Shifu looks like he's in a good mood." Li Tian muttered as he and Feng Mo peeked at Fan Wen. They were done teaching and training the disciples and told them to rest. They were about to report to Fan Wen of today's activities but they saw Fan Wen smiling brightly in the porch. They felt blinded by Fan Wen's smile and their teeth ached when they thought of Fan Wen thinking of Xie Lan. It can only be Xie Lan Fan Wen is thinking of. Seeing those blushing cheeks and sparkling eyes, they think of a phrase, 'a maiden in love is like a child, having a maiden's heart is forever a child', as they looked at Fan Wen. Their shifu in love is like a child, and him having a heart will forever be a child. But, he is only acting like this towards Xie Lan, of course. Fan Wen is acting like a kid whenever Xie Lan is around. He follows Xie Lan wherever Xie Lan goes, and obeys Xie Lan whatever Xie Lan says. With this, Fan Wen will forever be a child in front of Xie Lan. They didn't know, Xie Lan may be spoiling Fan Wen but it was actually Xie Lan whom they were talking about 'following wherever one goes, obeying whatever one says', and not Fan Wen.
A Little Theater:
Gray Dragon: when you and Fan Wen fight, do you also bawl?
Xie Lan: I refuse to answer –
Fan Wen: he is, using that to gain pity from me.
Gray Dragon: Fan Wen has pity, Xie Lan is petty.
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