The Stars Have Eyes

Chapter 10: Travel

Maggie was hover-sitting in place as per usual. AzgodKalar had climbed up her arm in order to sit on her shoulder for a change. Rather than rest, the little serpent had taken an interest in the girls coiling black locks. The clumps of straight hair wriggled and twisted slowly as if they were alive, and the snake seemed thoroughly confused whether these were others of its kind or not. Its tiny head bobbed up and down and swayed side to side as it did its best to analyze those noodle-like curls. Its owner watched the little guy with her usual smile, but some strangely fuzzy feeling was welling up within her chest. For some reason she couldnt shake the wishful notion that AzgodKalar was taking after her own curious nature and studious personality.

Indeed, if one didnt think too hard about it, the snakes behavior could be interpreted as the critter doing its best to unravel a mystery it had discovered. It flicked its tongue, sniffed the air, and got as good a look as its beady eyes could muster. It then hissed in what seemed to be frustration and went for the age old method of poking the strange thing to see what would happen. Which, in snakey terms, meant it tried to bite one of the serpentine locks, and was rewarded with a mouthful of hair. It must not have been all that pleasant, seeing as how it immediately pulled away with another tiny hiss.

Having determined that the eldritch beings abnormal hair was not, in fact, a challenger to its territory, AzgodKalar was able to relax atop its shoulder-pillow with confidence.

The barely sentient pod in the room then let out a hissing noise as its glass door slid open and Joe poked his head out.

Youre out ahead of schedule, Maggie remarked. Is your training session not proceeding as normal?

Something like that, yeah, the man rubbed his eyes. Ryan - I told you about Ryan, right?

Ryan Foster, the aspiring rap artist who struggles to grasp the simple concept of matching a set of syllables with a similarly sounding one, otherwise known as rhyming, she casually slammed the guy.

Oof. Yeah, him, just dont say that to his face, yeah?

I am aware.

People did not like having their flaws dragged into the open, or being reminded of their past failings. That was one of the first human lessons Maggie picked up from Joe. She still insisted this was a foolish and unproductive attitude, but had given up on arguing the point. Fleshlings tended to become impervious to facts and logic when they were upset, as they were creatures of emotion. That was precisely why Maggie was so fascinated by them in the first place, herself being an entity that until very recently had operated almost exclusively on logic, statistics, and probability.

Anyway, it seems his pod broke down, Joe continued. Apparently some dried bits of Noot-Goop clumped up and jammed his feeding tube, which then ruptured and totally knackered the electronics inside. Says itll take at least a week to get it fixed up.

Maggie understood where this was going. The big game tournament Joe and his friends had been training for was only four days away, and they suddenly found themselves short a team member. Theyd never make it past the opening rounds with a handicap like that, and they most likely did not consider arranging for a substitute in case something like this happened. Given how Joe was telling Maggie all this, she was able to anticipate his intentions.

I comprehend. I will assist, she smiled reassuringly.

Great! Joe beamed. Then Ill take you over to his place and you can fix up his pod just like you did mine.

Oh, her enthusiasm deflated.

What?

My research recognized this pattern as one where you invited me to assume the absentees duties for the duration of the contest.

Oh.

An awkward silence gripped the tiny room as the clueless man only just realized the opportunity for what it was.

Sorry, Maggie. Its just, we dont often get the gang together for a big event like this, he tried explaining himself. Its not just to compete, but also hang out and have fun with the lads. And you said you were fine with sitting this one out, so I didnt think youd want in.

Your attempts at consolation are appreciated, but unnecessary, her smile resurfaced.

Really? Youre not mad?

Indeed. I should not have based my expectations on the fictional situations depicted in Race To The Heart.

Ahah, he chuckled lightly. Yeah, soap operas dont really reflect reality too much. Sorry I got your hopes up, but if youre still willing to lend us a hand then Id really appreciate it.

Of course, Joe. I shall endeavor to accommodate your request to the full extent of my abilities.

Awesome, youre the best! Just give me a minute to hail a cab and well get right on it.

Unlike Cullen and Benny, Ryans place of residence wasnt in the same building as Joes. In fact, he lived in a different city altogether. Mega-city Dave-157, to be precise. It was more or less the same as Dave-156, but much smaller in size and about two thousand kilometers away. Getting there would involve getting a taxi ride to the tube station, then taking an inter-city train. It was a bit pricey, of course, but Maggie did not mind scrounging up the funds necessary to pay for transit. She abstained from inflating Joes finances unless there was an emergency, and this was about as close to that as anything on Butterpond-4 usually got.

The trip did prove to be interesting in and of itself. The flying taxi car ride wasnt all that exciting since Maggie had experienced something similar when she was arrested, but the train was positively fascinating. Firstly, its long and sleek chassis was reminiscent of a massive serpent, which tickled her fancy. It was no AzgodKalar, of course, since it was neither alive nor small enough to fit in her hand. Speaking of which, the pet snake had been brought along for the trip. It was snugly tucked in its owners left sleeve, with its head poking up from the shoulder gap.

The other thing about the train that Maggie really liked was that it was a piece of precision engineering with exceptional efficiency. It travelled along a vacuum-sealed tube-tunnel using magnetic rails, which allowed it to achieve and maintain supersonic speeds with ease. The only downside was that there were no windows to look at the scenery, but peering through solid matter was effortless for Maggie. She was looking forward to observing what the wilderness between civilization looked like firsthand.

Unfortunately, that proved to be disappointing. The terrain the tube-train shot past was a dull and featureless wasteland that was almost entirely devoid of life. The only landmarks were the canyon-like gashes left in the wake of massive mobile mining rigs that vigorously ripped metals and minerals from the planets crust. Maggie now understood why animals were so scarce around Joes home. The ceaseless march of industry and colonization had most likely driven away or killed off all of the indigenous flora and fauna. It was regrettable, as she was looking forward to studying various life forms during the trip.

A brief online search showed that only the regions surrounding the mega-cities were like this, and that the rest of Butterpond-4 was indeed a lush world teeming with life. Maggie made a mental note to thoroughly explore the planet at some point, but for the moment she reigned in her paranormal perception and focused on her immediate surroundings. The interior of the train was a bit cramped, but well lit and shockingly stable. The vehicle didnt have to contend with air resistance and hovered along almost perfectly straight magnetic rails. The ride was so unbelievably smooth that it felt like it was standing still even though it was travelling at the speed of sound. After factoring in the need to accelerate and decelerate gently out of consideration for its fleshy cargo, the tube-train would arrive at Dave-157 a mere two hours after leaving Dave-156.

The passengers spent this time seated in so-called smart chairs that subtly altered their cushions and armrests to provide optimal comfort for whoever was using them. A sharply dressed lady with an old-fashioned food cart patrolled the central alley offering complimentary snacks and drinks to anyone that required nourishment or refreshment. Maggie had no such needs, but she still availed herself of a few treats she hadnt encountered before. Joe had taken advantage of the public data port built into his seat to watch a movie by having it broadcasted directly into his brain through his PnP chip.

The couple got off the station, hailed another cab, and were on their way to Ryans address when Maggie realized something.

Joe, it would appear I have allowed a possible point of miscommunication.

Hm? What about?

I failed to explicitly state that I am unable to modify your friends pod in the same manner that I did yours.

The man had clearly used the words just like mine, but the girl was momentarily stunned at her own incorrect assumption and neglected to correct him on the spot.

Huh, he furrowed his brow in confusion. Then there isnt much point in us going to Ryans, is there?

I am still confident I can perform the necessary maintenance and repairs, she clarified. I am merely incapable of binding a shoggoth to it.

Oh, thats what you meant. Yeah, thats fine. I mustve misspoken earlier.

It pleases me that this unintentional miscommunication was rectified, the girl nodded lightly.

Wait, hold up, Joe realized something potentially concerning. Did you say a shoggoth?

Yes, Maggie happily confirmed.

As in, those big ugly tentacally things from Cod-Gee-Two?

The full title of the game he was referring to was Crucible of the Dead God 2: Eclectic Boogaloo. It was a survival horror themed experience that featured a wide variety of monsters and creatures that, now that Joe thought about it, probably werent entirely fictional. Maggie had also perused the game, mostly to verify how badly the developers had failed to represent actual cosmic horrors. She had even prepared a three hundred page long paper describing every detail they got wrong, but she held onto it for the moment since sending it off-planet was going to be tricky.

That portrayal of shoggoths is fundamentally accurate, yes, was her assessment of the topic at hand.

And you put one of those things in my pod?

Yes.

Its not going to eat me or anything, right?

He trusted Maggie would never put him in danger, but wanted verbal confirmation in order to put his mind at ease.

I assure you, it is, she paused, raised her hands, and curled her index and middle fingers twice, a good boy.

You That Joe shook his head lightly. Thats not a good use of air quotes, Maggie.

Yet again the girl was stumped. She was so certain she had applied the gesture correctly. After all, shoggoths had no concept of morality and were completely genderless. Her familiar was therefore neither good nor a boy, so she tried to signify that those words were not meant to be taken literally. It would appear she needed to research the signal in question more severely, but for now she focused on addressing Joes concerns.

My familiar is thoroughly trained to obey me in all things. Its entire existence is dedicated to ensuring your safety, and it will defend you with all of the strength and ferocity it can muster should the need arise.

Arent those things supposed to be pretty dumb? Wont it mistakenly attack someone?

I have taken the necessary precautions to ensure such accidents do not occur.

Maggies tight grip on the shoggoth was precisely why it hadnt done something unsightly when Officer Maloney showed up at Joes place to bring him in. It also helped that he went along willingly without resisting the policeman.

Okay, thats good, he visibly relaxed. So my pod is alive, huh? Thats kind of neat, actually. Does it have a name?

It is not worthy of carrying one, she coldly stated.

Mind if I call it Shoggy, then?

I would strongly advise against interacting with it in any capacity beyond its functions as a virtual reality pod.

Joe was about to argue that Maggie should treat all her pets with care, but then realized that she probably knew more about actual shoggoths than he did. Following that rare moment of relative brilliance, he decided to trust the girls judgement and simply took her advice to heart. The same could not be said of the unfortunate cabbie who was giving them a ride. The stranger had also played Cod-Gee-Two, and was thus incapable of ignoring that questionable conversation. Thankfully his powers of self-delusion were quite formidable indeed. By the time he reached his destination, the man had succeeded in convincing himself that all that talk of sentient murder-pods was just a couple of dumb kids roleplaying outside of VR.

Having arrived at Ryans hyper-scraper, Joe had little difficulty locating his friends apartment and ringing his doorbell. Nobody answered at first, so he did so again. Only on the third ring did the door open. An unshaven brown-haired chap in his late teens poked his head out from behind.

Yeh? Wait, Joe?

His eyes locked onto the widely-smiling visitor with a look of disbelief.

Hey, Ryan!

Uh Hey? And whos- Woah.

He then noticed Maggie, which made his jaw hang open as his brain scrambled to remember how words worked.

Good day, she smiled and waved.

Th-thats Mags?! he mustered an exclamation at Joe.

Yup, he proudly declared.

She actually looks like Melinda Sparklestar!

I know, right? I see her every day and I can still hardly believe it!

Fooken unreal, man. Wait, why is she here? Why are you here?

Joe looked puzzled for a second, then realized something.

Ah. I probably shouldve told you I was visiting, huh?

Uh, yeah. Probably, Ryan let his sarcasm flow forth. You dont just show up at someones door like this, ya pillock!

Joe offered some half-hearted apologies while laughing at his own foolishness before he got to the matter at hand.

Anyway, were here to help you with your pod.

You what?

Yeah, its knackered, right? Full of Noot-Goop and stuff?

Ryan stared off with a look of utter befuddlement, followed by a flash of realization and a moment of panic that ended with an incredulous stare.

Mate, I wouldnt trust you to fix a door handle.

Yeah, me neither. Maggies the one doing it. Im just here to show her the way.

Her? he glanced at the girl. Dont take this the wrong way, but, Mags, was it? You dont look like no pod technician.

Trust me, mate, shes brilliant. She got rid of my pods stupid beeping in, like, ten minutes. Fixed the noisy door as well. Shell have yours back up and running in no time, then we can get right back to practicing for the tourney!

Oh. Thats, uh, bad timing, mate. Pod technician just swung by earlier, grabbed some bits and took off. Said hed be ordering replacements, but they wont get here for a week. Im sure Mags is great and all, but she cant do much when theres loads of parts missing.

Ah, bugger, Joes mood rapidly declined. Thats really unlucky.

Yeah. Shouldve told me you were coming, man. Wouldve asked the technician to come back tomorrow or something.

Well, no worries. My own fault for being such a lemon, he perked himself up a bit. Guess practice isnt gonna happen, so you wanna head out and grab a drink while Im here?

I, err, was actually on my way out. Pods knackered so I was gonna crash at my mums place for a bit.

Most VR pods had multi-user support, so it wasnt uncommon for family members to share in times of need. Ryans excuse was therefore perfectly reasonable, except for one issue. It was completely made-up.

Ryan Foster.

Maggies harsh tone cleaved through the air like an icy comet.

Y-yes? he meekly responded.

For what reason are you attempting to deceive Joe.

He is?

Im- Im not!

Any further attempt to maintain this pitiful ruse shall leave me most displeased.

Yes, maam.

Ryan? Whats going on?

Having been called out so thoroughly, the young man could do nothing but sigh heavily as he pushed open the door to reveal his pod was perfectly intact and very much functional.

Look, man, he turned to Joe. Im sorry for lying to you and the boys, but like, I just cant handle this practice crap anymore.

But the whole thing was your idea!

No, man. Not like this, he shook his head. I wanted to join that tourney for a laugh, but then you all got hyper competitive. I tried to keep up, but its not for me.

You love playing Underwater Yoga Blaster, though!

Yeah, playing it. Casually. Like, for fun. What you lot are doing isnt that. I tried to keep up, but I really cant do it anymore. I was burnt out, but I couldnt just you know

He clearly felt terrible about the whole thing, especially since someone had crossed city boundaries because of him.

Blimey Oh, well, Joe shrugged. That sucks, man. Sorry for dragging you along like that.

Wait, youre not mad?

Im a bit cross you lied, but I get it. You wanted to back out without seeming like a total bellend, so you made something up about your pod breaking. Weve all been there. Well, not me. Im shameless, but Cullen constantly makes up excuses to get out of dinners with his dad. Besides, its just something we decided to do on a lark. I trust you wouldnt be lying about stuff that actually matters.

Fooken ell, Joe, Ryan cursed. World must be coming to an end if youre making sense.

Oy! I might not care about your shenanigans, but arent you forgetting someone?

He jerked his head towards Maggie, who was staring at Ryan with the sort of intensity that implied she was contemplating whether to punt him into the sun.

She had to come all the way out here because of you, Joe added, and she didnt even know you.

Right. Er, I apologize, for lying. To Joe. And to you. And it wont happen again?

The girls face relaxed into her usual tight-lipped smile.

Very well. I will forgive your transgressions.

Blimey. Your girl is bloody scary when shes angry, he muttered to Joe, then turned back to her. Er, no offense, Mags.

None taken.

But yeah, dont worry about it, Joe took over. Ill smooth things over with the guys.

What about the tourney, though? Wont they be mad they put in all that effort for nothing?

Its fine, its fine! he insisted. Ill just get Maggie to fill in for you. Shes actually quite stoked to do it.

Really? Thats great! Again, Im really sorry you two had to come all this way because of me. If theres some way I can make it up to you- Actually, Mags? Is that a snake in your hair?

It had taken him a while, but it would appear Ryan finally noticed the serpent poking out of her dark locks.

Yes. This is my pet, AzgodKalar the Calm, she proudly declared.

You like animals, then?

Maggie had never really thought about it before, but now that she did, the answer was obvious.

Yes.

Thats perfect! Ryan said with a clap of his hands. My uncle works at the zoo just down the street. I can message him to let you guys in for free, if youd like.

I accept these terms.

The girl visibly perked up at those words and immediately went to summon the elevator.

Thats nice of you, mate, Joe smirked. You really didnt have to.

Its the least I could do. Go on then, you two have fun.

Sure you dont wanna come with? Been ages since we hung out in real.

We can do that some other time. Id only be a third wheel if I tagged along now.

He winked and patted Joes shoulder.

Take care, man. Ill see you online.

And with that, Ryan disappeared into his apartment, leaving Joe with a realization that he wasnt quite sure how to deal with.

He was technically on a date, wasnt he?

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