The Tales of an Infinite Regressor

Chapter 43 – The Former Watcher V

[Translator – Jjsecus]

[Proofreader – Gun]

Chapter 43 – The Former Watcher V

Clang!

The sound of shattered glass echoed from all directions. Though I didn’t catch it with my eyes just now, it was evidence that the Saintess’s aura had been activated.

The bullets rushing toward me like a school of sharks shattered simultaneously. Axes rolled on the ground. The sight of thousands of bullets being crushed like powder, mingling with snowflakes, was truly magnificent.

“…”

The mastermind behind this miraculous sight, the Saintess, or the fallen one who would later be named “Executor” by me, was staring at me intently.

“What are you planning to do?”

The Saintess’s tone seemed ordinary at first glance. But I had spent countless years with her in the past and would continue to do so in the future. It was difficult to hide emotions perfectly from a destined opponent of thousands of years.

The Saintess seemed flustered.

“As expected.”

I nodded.

The fight wasn’t meant to happen in the first place.

The Saintess truly had no intention of killing me. Just aiming to subdue.

I couldn’t know what the Saintess was plotting in her mind right now. Unfortunately, I only mastered the Solitude Technique in the 554th run, and at this point, it was only the 107th run.

Still, there were clues to speculate.

“Saintess.”

“Yes.”

“Please stop using Time Stop. Send back the Awakeneds you summoned. Otherwise, I will commit suicide immediately, without any delay.”

“…”

The Saintess looked into my eyes. For a moment. Perhaps eternity. Or maybe while looking at herself through my eyes. Pupil reflected in pupil.

Thud.

The axe the Saintess released fell into the pile of snow. Snowflakes continued to fall from the sky. They settled on the thousands, tens of thousands of footprints left on the ground.

Time passed.

“It has stopped.”

The Saintess expressed it as “it has stopped.”

Suddenly, I felt an unbearable emotion. In the twisted flow of time, both she and I were kin.

Commonly, those who have lived in familiar spaces were called natives, while those who lived in unfamiliar spaces were called foreigners. Then what about time? To ordinary people, aren’t both of us just strangers with no place to belong?

Snow fell. I thought of this place as an isolated place, a world forsaken by everyone.

Coincidentally, banishment originally stemmed from returning to one’s hometown. Returning to one’s hometown had become a form of punishment at some point.

In that case, the void of this world might truly be the hometown of both of us.

“…Very well. Since the Saintess doesn’t wish for my death, and I also don’t wish for the death of the Saintess, we should be able to have a conversation.”

“Agreed.”

The distance between us was about 6 meters.

“Then let’s first confirm each other’s demands. I hope the Saintess won’t oppress my freedom.”

“…I, likewise, hope that. I hope that Doctor Jang won’t obstruct my execution.”

The Saintess spoke up.

“If we regress once again and the 108th world begins, Doctor Jang will undoubtedly try to prevent me from becoming ‘like this.'”

“…”

“You wouldn’t want me to become a murderer. You’d always want me to be placed in a position where I have done nothing wrong. But this is a conclusion I’ve reached, that I will inflict pain on those who have committed sins, even if I have to do it myself.”

“So you tried to subdue me?”

“Yes. I intended to detain Doctor Jang until I found a way to specifically erase certain memories. The world is vast, and there are many Awakeneds, so there must be abilities to control memories somewhere. In the worst-case scenario, I could rely on Koyori.”

Koyori is not an option.

“By the way, you mentioned earlier that you called Koyori. Is that person on their way here?”

“That was a lie.”

The Saintess said casually, with an expressionless face.

“It was also a lie that I called other Awakeneds in the name of the Constellations. It was a tactic to make Doctor Jang impatient and make a mistake. No one else except us will come here.”

“…I see.”

Unbelievable. It was a complete bluff. I couldn’t afford to let my guard down around this person.

I took a deep breath. Then, sheathing my sword, I said,

“Saintess, I will never hide the fact that you have reached the conclusion of punishing wrongdoers yourself, no matter how many regressions we go through, even in the next run or the one after that.”

“…”

“I promise. So please ease your anxieties, Saintess.”

“…”

“Even if you were to set the world on fire, I am on your side.”

Silence fell.

With each landing of snowflakes on the Saintess’s shoulders, there was a faint, almost imperceptible sound of glass cracking. Amidst the quiet, only the sound of snow falling and glass shattering softly echoed.

“It’s lamentable.”

Amidst the white and transparent sounds, the Saintess’s voice seeped in like a shadow.

“The fact that this memory, this conversation, will be completely forgotten by me in the next run. That all the memories of the past 16 years spent with you will melt away like snow.”

“…I will remember.”

“Yes.”

The Saintess lowered her eyes subtly.

“And that makes it even more poignant.”

“…”

“I’m sorry. It must be sadder for you than for me. But I couldn’t bear it any longer. The possibility that all the events, memories, and the meaning of someone’s death might disappear. …The fact that all of this has to be entrusted to one person’s shoulders.”

“It’s okay. I can handle it. Because you’re here too.”

Snow fell.

With the sound of glass shattering, the Saintess’s lips parted.

“When an Awakened’s ability reaches its peak, it’s hardly distinguishable from a monster.”

This was the first in my regressions.

And also the first time in human history that the phenomenon of ‘corruption’ was identified through one person’s mouth.

“Pardon?”

“At some point, even in a frozen world, I became able to move freely. Not only my own voice, but also all the sounds I remember, can now be replayed telepathically.”

The Saintess was utterly serious. She assembled her words at a pace calm enough for me to follow.

“At first, I just thought my abilities had evolved. It was a natural inference. But as time went on, another hypothesis, another possibility, began to circulate in my mind.”

“What possibility?”

“That I’m not growing, but rather, I’m losing myself ― that’s the hypothesis.”

The Saintess’s eyes narrowed.

“Originally, telepathy only transmitted ‘my’ voice. But what if I transcend my own physical body? What if I gradually become less human? In that case, couldn’t I replay not only the nurturing of a human, but also countless other sounds?”

“Uh… logically possible. But still, could the phenomenon you mentioned simply be interpreted as the expansion of the Saintess’s scope, the breadth of the self?”

“Yes. But they’re not so different.”

The Saintess nodded slightly.

“…It’s very difficult to explain this feeling to someone else. But there are symptoms that are too distinct to simply dismiss as psychological anxiety.”

“Symptoms?”

“Invisible aura.”

Why was it? The moment those words flowed from the Saintess’s lips, I too was seized by a sense of foreboding.

A sensation as if an invisible tongue licked from my throat down to my pelvis—licking my spine.

The Saintess was staring straight at me.

“The aura Awakeneds manifest come in all sorts of colors. You interpreted mine as ‘having a transparent color’ because there was no color in my aura.”

“…That’s correct.”

“But what if it wasn’t an aura?”

The Saintess murmured, probably pondering over a problem she herself had endlessly agonized over within the frozen time.

“Like producing effects similar to an aura enhancement, but not actually an aura. Doctor Jang must have witnessed countless phenomena like that.”

“Monstrosities…?”

“Yes. Monsters.”

The Ten Clans don’t use aura.

They just have bodies that seem enhanced by aura from birth.

My heart raced. The sound of the Saintess’s entire body making a faint noise, like a shuffling, matched my heartbeat endlessly.

“I’m gradually being eroded by emptiness.”

“…”

“That’s not all.”

Thunk.

The Saintess flicked her finger.

At that moment, my perspective flipped.

“…?”

No, to be precise, it wasn’t flipped.

It was as if I was experiencing astral projection ― seeing my own body from above.

My first-person view had switched to a third-person perspective.

“Saintess?”

My lips moved. I saw the sight of my own lips moving.

It was a very strange sensation.

[Translator – Jjsecus]

[Proofreader – Gun]

I saw my own back. If I were to do strength training in this state, I could strike the weight with unparalleled precision. But the third-person perspective world didn’t just offer advantages like that.

“What on earth…?”

Sense of buoyancy.

Ultimately, a person’s ego clings to their body.

The physical body is the most direct objectivity. If the body loses its immediacy and is placed ‘alongside’ other objects, merely becoming one among many, then the person’s ego is adrift like waves on an endless sea, having lost its anchor.

“That’s the world I see, Doctor Jang.”

Crunch.

The Saintess approached me, stepping on the snow. I was helpless, like a newborn baby who hadn’t yet learned how to control its body.

“In the past, I only experienced that perspective when using Thousand Mile Vision. But as I got used to it… now I’ve reached a point where I can’t distinguish between my own perspective and the third-person perspective.”

The Saintess grasped my hand.

The sensation of her cold hand on the snow was vivid. But somehow, that sensation felt ‘distant’.

Should I express it as tactile sensations feeling like colors? Despite sensations being something felt closest to the skin, there was a sense of distance.

The sensation the Saintess described was difficult to explain to others.

It was eerie.

It was strange.

Uncanny.

“I think I’ve already become about half eerie.”

“…When Doctor Jang found out my secret, I thought it was a big problem. But looking back now, I’m relieved it was discovered. If a little more time had passed… I might have lost even the most important part of myself.”

The Saintess whispered in front of me from afar.

The Saintess gathered the remaining warmth in her hands and enveloped my hand.

“If it had come to that point, I might have been able to freeze time to prevent Doctor Jang’s regression. No. Not ‘might.’ I’m certain.”

“….”

“Losing my color, losing my perspective, losing my form, losing time, just becoming something that merely observes everything. That’s the uncanny.”

Steam escaped from the Saintess’s mouth. A thread of human warmth rose in the midst of the snow-covered world.

“Remember, Doctor Jang. This fight, this challenge to save the world, is not an infinite game. The opportunities for challenge are infinite, but once you enter the stage, there’s a ‘time limit’.”

“Time limit…”

“That time limit is probably 15 to 20 years. Beyond Awakeneds getting accustomed to their abilities, once they become so consumed by their abilities that they devour themselves, they’ll become eerie like me. Do you understand? An Awakened’s ability is not a pure blessing. It’s a double-edged sword.”

Crunch-

From somewhere, near or perhaps far away, the sound of glass shattering echoed.

It wasn’t until now that I realized it might not be glass at all, but some sort of barrier surrounding the Saintess, an invisible barrier.

“This time, Doctor Jang, you focused on my growth, which ultimately led to me becoming like this the fastest… But I don’t know what will happen in other runs. My intuition tells me that the more powerful an Awakened is, the more dangerous they become. For example… Tang Seorin from the Three Thousand Worlds is likely no exception.”

“20 years. Before 15 years pass, you must restore the world to its original state. Please remember, Doctor Jang. The time limit…”

The sound of glass breaking became clearer and clearer.

I understood the Saintess’s intention. That’s why I pulled her hand and embraced her. It was quite difficult to control the body from a third-person perspective, so I might have applied too much force.

The Saintess’s eyes widened.

“…Ah.”

“So, you intend to kill me. To ensure the regression happens before you completely transform yourself. But that’s just greed to shoulder the burden alone.”

A small exhale and laughter was heard.

“You really know me well, Doctor Jang.”

“Let’s go together.”

“…Yes.”

“I may not have said it, but I’ve actually lost my mind control. During the third run, I’ve traveled around the country and even worked as a convenience store owner.”

“A convenience store owner?”

“Yes. Even the Saintess needs to learn to let go a bit.”

I summoned my aura throughout my body.

As the glass barrier continued to crack and break, the sound intensified.

Crackle- crackle.

As my aura enveloped the two, countless cracks reverberated.

The snow fell. The glass shattered. Even as the snow continued to fall, the two shadows etched on the white snow remained untouched.

“…It’s warm.”

The Saintess closed her eyes.

“Why do people… hurt each other… when we’re all just… human.”

Crackle.

The world fell silent as the snow stopped.

That was the Saintess’s testament.

8

There is an epilogue.

This epilogue isn’t limited to a specific run.

In the 109th, 110th, and 111th runs… this scene was inevitably reproduced in the runs where I formed an alliance with the Saintess.

“That’s what happened.”

“…”

After listening to my story, the Saintess remained silent, occasionally rubbing her chin in thought. Sometimes, she tilted her head as if lost in deep contemplation.

“It doesn’t feel like my story, even though it is mine.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

The Saintess looked at my face with a very serious expression.

“You’ve been diligently exploring the outside world, but it doesn’t suit you.”

“…I see.”

Was it really like that?

The Saintess stood up and gestured to the aquarium.

The fish she had carefully collected before the world became like this quickly gathered at her command. Red, white, yellow, blue… Various creatures swam in the water.

“It’s difficult to understand punishing villains anonymously. Using one’s own position to instill fear in people is effective, but it’s the mindset of someone who doesn’t trust others. If she had been as sincere as she was thorough in exploring, wouldn’t it have been better to publicly announce her existence, her abilities, and even govern the world herself?”

“Um. Maybe she wasn’t that diligent?”

“Exactly. She was mediocre. Choosing seclusion to avoid mediocrity.”

The tip of the Saintess’s finger gently brushed the surface of the water.

For the fish, the boundary of the world, the barrier of this world, was slightly disturbed. The Saintess seemed to enjoy the sensation.

“Above all, in the 107th run, I described it as if Awakeneds automatically fall into corruption as their abilities develop. But that’s a flawed analysis. There’s clear evidence against it.”

“Evidence?”

“Doctor Jang.”

The Saintess spoke.

“You’ve regressed countless times already and continuously developed your abilities. If my theory were correct, you would have experienced corruption sooner than anyone else. But seeing that such a phenomenon hasn’t occurred to you, the likelihood is that corruption is simply a mental issue.”

Simply a mental issue.

She was still strict with herself.

“But I understand the meaning behind the final testament.”

“What meaning is that?”

“The fact that humans kill each other. Even though they’re human. It’s always a painful truth. And…”

“And?”

“…”

The Saintess glanced back discreetly.

I blinked.

Like a crab clicking its pincers against the glass in the aquarium.

Then, something truly rare happened.

The Saintess gave a faint smile.

“It’s a secret.”

– The Former Watcher. The End.

[Translator – Jjsecus]

[Proofreader – Gun]

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