Chapter 29 - Ugly Truth
Atlas gaze burned with such intensity she felt her soul shiver. The promise and warning in his eyes filled Meredith with anticipation instead of fear. She was now exploring another side of her and it was the most thrilling thing she had ever done if not the most daring.
Meredith looked at the man who was leisurely running his hands through her hair.
"When would be our next meeting?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper.
Atlas flashed her a lazy smile, and Meredith found her heart jumping in her chest.
"Eager, are we?" A grin tugged at his mouth.
Meredith tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as she avoided his gaze. She has never experienced being touched by a man like he had touched her today. With so much care and respect.
Yes, he had called her degrading names and ordered her around but the way he had reacted when he had seen her scars thrilled her and unnerved her at the same time. It made her feel protected like he would keep her safe when he gets to know her secrets.
The intensity in his eyes anytime he looked at her made her feel confident and attractive. And now she wanted to please him so badly.
But the thought of her not being enough for him stung her. What if he had had better and never contact her again after all she had no experience.
The thought of her not being enough for him crashed her soul. Meredith didn't know what do with the unfamiliar emotions brewing in her heart. Everything was so new yet so thrilling.
Maybe Atlas might have seen the vulnerability on her face because he held her chin and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. Her new favorite thing in the world.
He gazed into her eyes, "I don't know what you're thinking about but trust me. I want you and this wouldn't be a one-night thing. I told you this is just the beginning remember?"
Meredith flushed with embarrassment and nodded.
"Good. Are you hungry?"
Meredith shook her head. She had eaten with her brother before she came.
"Alright. Get dress, I will take you home." Atlas said as he helped her on her feet.
Meredith muscle tensed when she heard him. She swallowed the lump in her throat and forced a smile.
"Okay."
The moment she took a step, Atlas gripped her hand and spun her around, pulling her into his chest.
"Angel, are you sad not to be spending the night with me?" he muttered as he stroked his fingers on her bare skin which caused her to shiver.
"N-no." She forced out. Meredith didn't want to be clingy because she was afraid that would send him away.
"Hmm, what did I say about lying to me Angel? It seems you have a problem with expressing yourself. Let's fix that, okay? I want to know what you're thinking. So that I can try to be a good man for you and I can't do that if you don't communicate with me.
So, let's try this. Anytime we want to know what anyone of us is thinking we use the word, ugly truth. Because the truth is always ugly."
Meredith tucked the corners of her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded.
Atlas lifted her chin with his finger and stared down at her. "Good. Tell me an ugly truth Angel about tonight."
Meredith swallowed as she contemplated over her answer. Was she going to say her dirty thoughts and fears aloud to him? Yes, she was.
"I liked it. Liked it when you tugged my hair, when you called me degrading names. When you call me a good girl my stomach swarms with butterflies like it's the most beautiful endearment in the world. I felt happy being on my knees as you fucked my mouth like I'm whore.
The thought of being your Angel and at the same time your whore makes me feel so powerful. I-I don't know but that scares me, the fact that pain and humiliation turn me on makes me feel I'm sick.
And I want to please you so bad even though I know you're not good for me. I want you to drag me into the dark and show me what my body is capable of, but then I don't have any experience and that scares me. What if you get bored or find someone else?
What if you leave me one day after I have become obsessed with all of this? Also, I have always wanted to be cuddle after sex you know? I know we didn't sleep together but the fact that you're dismissing me right after makes me feel hollow."
Atlas looked at her with a thoughtful expression, "You're not sick. Everyone has a dark side and it takes the right person to bring it out."
Meredith lips parted as his words sunk in.
"Also, I'm not dismissing you. I thought all of this would be too much for you to handle Angel. I wanted you to go home and think about it on the comfort on your bed without any pressure. Now that you have had a brief experience, if this is what you really want."
Meredith flushed with shame. It seems she had been overthinking.
Atlas smiled, "Don't worry Angel. You did great today. Everyone has first times for everything and experiences aren't built in a day. I'm not going to leave you for anyone because you're the only I will be fucking from today until we both agree to end all of this.
And I'm going to train you so well that after I'm done with you, you wouldn't want another man.. But remember the golden rule; Don't fall in love with me."
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