The Villainess and I, her Zombie

Chapter 241: Stupid idiot

Sometime later, when the food was already eaten and all the plates and utensils were cleaned, everyone was about to go to sleep or at least tried to - since with the state of the confusing fog as it was, it was impossible to determine whether it was a day or a night with the exact same amount of light sipping through - or rather, being produced - by the confusing fog at all times.

"Alright, as for the order of keeping watch..."

Shanks, as the leader of the Dandelions, spoke up and...

"Oh, just go to sleep you stubborn living! You got a perfect sentinel who doesn't need to eat, sleep, and never gets tired, readily available, and you still go with the shift bullshit. Come on, that's actually insulting!"

Zombie interrupted him mid-sentence and scoffed, crossing his arms with a dissatisfied expression.

"What? Is it that hard to say - hey, Zombie, us living need the sleep to function, please stand on guard so we will get enough rest to finish this long ass journey within the next day - or is it not?"

He complained in annoyance.

Funnily enough, even though he was the supposed perfect sentinel who never gets tired - was the one who was the most tired and annoyed out of them all because of their overall slow progression.

"Sir Zombie, could you please do us a great favor and be on the watch while we all go to sleep?"

Shanks definitely changed the words that Zombie used but kept the feeling of the request.

"Yes. Sure, no problem. Now go to sleep, you annoying living!"

The blue undead scoffed and looked away, clearly agreeing but somehow showing a body language that would suggest that he refused.

"Thank you."

"We'll be in your care."

"Fuck yeah, thanks!"

"Big thanks!"

The Dandelions all loudly expressed their gratitude and dived into the Sloth soldiers' issued sleeping bags.

"Go-oo-od night everyone."

Mary yawned and laid down in between Arion and Blueberry.

"..."

Completely silent Cranberry had laid down on the other side of the blue griffin and Zombie sat right by her and pulled out a sketchbook that was one of the things the Sloth soldiers managed to salvage from the remains of their outpost and gifted to the blue undead...

...though they didn't really have a choice in that matter since he simply demanded it once he laid his eyes upon it.

He also took out a pencil - yet another gift - and started drawing while watching the surroundings vigilantly.

Truth to be told, his life signatures detection wasn't unusable even in the concentrated sea of mist, he still could accurately detect a life signature up to a thousand feet away, so it was good enough for keeping watch but not good enough for finding out which way to go in case of getting lost.

Zombie made sure that nothing was near while doing a basic outline for the sketch and...

*thump*

Suddenly his elbow got pushed forward and a giant ugly line showed across the whole page ruining the progress...

"..."

The blue undead made a sour expression and looked behind.

Cranberry had apparently moved in her sleep and smacked his elbow, and was now on her side breathing calmly.

Zombie sighed and slowly turned the page of the sketchbook and began drawing from the beginning.

He was at about the same point as previously before when...

*thump*

Exactly the same happened and his elbow got pushed forward, making him ruin yet another page.

"..."

Zombie turned around and looked at the red-haired girl whose sleeping position got noticeably worse than it was before.

"I know that you are not asleep. What's your problem?"

Zombie sighed without putting the sketchbook away.

"..."

Cranberry didn't budge, looking very much asleep.

Zombie frowned and turned back around, he moved his pencil a lot but when about the same amount of time as before has passed...

*thump*

Another push on the elbow, making Zombie slid the pencil across the sketchbook's page.

"..."

Zombie looked right back at the sleeping red-haired girl.

"...got you!"

Then he snorted and raised the sketchbook showing off the empty page where he only pretended to draw just a short while ago.

"Now, will you tell me what's bugging you or do you want to continue pretending to be asleep?"

He asked the sleeping girl.

"..."

*thump*

At first, it seemed like the girl really was asleep, but then she raised her hand and bump it on Zombie's back.

"...I would be able to forgive you kissing Blueberry because she's our daughter..."

Cranberry suddenly opened her eyes and glared all grumpy at the blue undead.

*thump*

...and bumped Zombie's back again.

"...but then you went and kissed Mary!..."

*thump*

The bumping strength increased.

"...I told you to use that skill only with me but you went ahead and used it on another girl!"

*thump*

Cranberry complained, smacking knocking on Zombie's back with her fist.

"...and then on a male!"

*thump*

"...a dog too no less...!"

*thump*

"...you have no shame...!"

*THUMP*

The last hit was strong enough to make Zombie drop both the sketchbook and the pencil.

"..."

The blue undead gritted his teeth in annoyance, glaring at the few pages that got crumpled from the fall.

Then he glared furiously at the pouting red-haired girl.

"Ha? What will you d-...!"

*grab*

"KYAAH!"

At first, Cranberry confidently mocked the undead, completely certain that he won't raise his hand against her, but then she got taken by surprise when Zombie grabbed her by the chestplate - crushing the high-quality armor as if it was just some cheap fabric - and pulled her out of the sleeping back, causing her to let out an embarrassing high-pitched shocked yelp.

"What do you think you're do-HUMPFH?!?!?!?!!!!?!!!"

As soon as Zombie put her in his lap, Cranberry raised her voice angrily but then got her mouth blocked by his lips.

As his eyes glowed red, she felt the sensation of the dark red smoke sipping inside her and then being sucked out with great force.

"!!!!!!!!!"

Cranberry trembled and clenched her legs together before falling limply onto Zombie's chest completely out of breath.

"Hey! Could you two be a bit quieter?! It's hard enough to sleep outside when it's this br-HOUP...!"

Mary stood from her spot and scoffed at the pair, peeking from over the griffin's torso - but then she gasped loudly and shut her mouth the moment she noticed blushing Cranberry looking extremely fragile in the strong arms of the annoyed Zombie, who coincidentally was glaring at Mary for daring to be another nuisance for him.

"...sorry...! Don't mind me at all...!"

Mary blushed just as heavily as Cranberry and slowly hid behind Blueberry while apologizing.

"...I just want to draw in peace! Is it that difficult not to bother me?"

Zombie scowled, picked back the sketchbook, tore off the ruined pages, and threw them into the remains of the small campfire.

Then he put his knees together, put the sketchbook against the created surface, grabbed the pencil, and hugged Cranberry with the other hand.

"No one is going to steal your spot, you stupid idiot, so don't throw a hissy-fit when I'm enjoying myself. Dumbass. Go to sleep."

*peck*

Zombie complained and then lightly kissed the top of Cranberry's head before beginning sketching again.

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And although he succeeded in perfectly pacifying the red-haired girl, he completely failed in making her rest since his actions made her heartrate skyrocket for the rest of the otherwise calm night.

This chapter upload first at NovelBin.Com