Tunnel Rat

It took Milo nearly an hour to figure out how to read the back of the cards used for the Captains' game. The secret was complex and hidden in how the lines to the masts and the sails overlapped with each other. There were minor differences on some cards and he began cataloguing all of them and making a list of what variations went with each card. The task became more difficult when he found false clues in the mix, enough that someone with less computing power in their brain might not be able to discern the patterns. There were dozens of them and only by looking at the backs of every card he could see and matching it to the other side could he add it to his growing database. It was exhausting, but he had the fuel he needed.

The coffee Sassy brought was what he'd asked for, Strong and black. It was also horrible compared to the coffee he'd had in Sedgewick. But the taste was secondary to the brain boost it gave him. Between that and the excellent cheese the Sharks had provided his brain was buzzing and he kept his overmind divided into four parts as he analyzed the patterns on the cards. Once he was done, relaxed with half his brain watching card patterns and looking for errors in his database while the other hand got down to the serious job of playing poker with the intimidating people at the table. He evaluated each.

Mako was a superb card player, skilled in the game and reading her opponents. She obviously knew Whale, Annie, Goldtooth, and Cuda well and had played cards or observed them before. Her attention was on the four of them as they bet aggressively, tossed piles of gold in the pot, and drank heavily. She seemed to have lost interest in him as he quit betting and analyzed her cards.

Squint bothered Mako. Milo was sure that it was because, like everyone else, she couldn't figure him out. His play style was erratic and he barely looked at his cards, but somehow was slightly up. It helped that Cuda and Goldtooth were losing money hand over fist and the profits spread around the table. He spent most of his time eating snacks and asking advice from his cats who ignored him.

Captains Cuda and Goldtooth were out of their league. No matter how good they were with their own decks under them, this was as much Makko's home turf as her ship had been. They were here for the food, the fun, and waiting for a fight to break out. Captain Annie was watching the interplay between Whale and Mako, sensing the unresolved conflict between them. She did her best to throw insults and both of them and stoke the flames higher as the game went on.

Makko was in control of the current hand, with Whale and Annie having dropped, and Squint at the buffet filling his plate again. She raised the stakes, the other two called, and then, instead of dropping out as he had been, Professor Tallsqueak tossed coins to the pot, declaring, "I see your raise, and raise another 500 gold." Goldtood and Cuda dropped immediately, not even waiting to see what Makko did.

Mako had seen that Cuda and Goldtooth had nothing more than a pair of eights and an Ace high busted straight. She came out aggressive and expected to make them fold with an aggressive raise. That had come from the ratkin instead. It was difficult for her to watch all the cards on the table, taking incredible concentration. She hadn't even glanced at the Professor's cards, and now he held them close, making it impossible. At the same time, she didn't need to see them. She had two fours, an eight, a seven, and a nine. That would do.

"I call."

Tallsqueak laid down his hand with three twos. Mako flipped over a nine-high straight and pulled in the pot. The ratkin nodded to her politely and smiled. "Well played, Captain." He reached for another bit of cheese and his were wild.

Mako smiled inwardly. He was getting high on her expensive imported cheese. Maybe she'd get his gold after all. She made a sign to, Abigail, her dealer. 'Time to fatten the Pig.' Thereafter, as Professor Tallsqueak began to play more and more aggressively, Mako backed out of most hands. The ratkin had a streak of luck that let him rack in half the pots. Squint also did well, and the piles of gold shifted from one side of the table to the other.

Captain Goldtooth was eventually cleared out. She shook her head but wasn't angry, that was how her luck usually went. Captain Cuda was next, stone-faced and suspicious, but not complaining. Both Captains pushed back their chairs and sipped their whiskey, enjoying a ringside seat at the game.

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The dealer, Abigail, was wishing she hadn't gone drinking the night before and spent the wee hours of the morning with a drunken miner half her age. She'd bragged about her stamina to the other girls at the Casino, but as the game wore on, she felt the fatigue mount up. There was a lot at stake here, even if Mako was acting like it was just another day of shaking down the customers for their pocket change. From her high vantage point standing at the head of the table, she could see down on the casino floor. At eight out of ten tables Engineers were sitting with stacks of chips in front of them. Large stacks. And that was worrying. At most, two of those Engineers should be winning and happy, and not by so much. Looking at the tables where ships were exchanged for regular coins, she saw more worried faces.

Not her problem, but if they took a break, she'd give Mako an earful after she got a shot or two into her. That was one of the problems with dealing, she couldn't drink, and it had been a while since she'd had anything. Like any dealer, stress was handled with alcohol, and double for her. The damned cards were hard as hell to manipulate, and she had to keep perfect track of everyone she sent sailing across the table. She was tired and it was becoming a strain, but if she missed a switch Mako called for one, she'd be sporting bruises by the end of the night. Bruises the size of Beluga's fists. Mako needed her, but that didn't mean she got a pass if she screwed up.

Once again, the ratkin Professor raked in a pot composed mostly of Whale and Annie's money. The two captains had bet heavily, one having a flush and the other a straight, courtesy of a few well-timed card switches. Tallsqueak had barely looked at his cards, too busy spreading cheese and bending to slide a plate of sardines to Squint's cats. He should have had two pairs, but with a little concentration, she'd managed to swap a mate for a cannon and give him a full house.

She saw the sign from Makko. Time to 'Slaughter the Hogs.' This is where all the years of practice under old Granny Sharptooth. It was Granny that had made the table and cards three hundred years back, with the help of a renegade Engineer named Black Eddy. She'd been impressed with his handsome wanted poster and after slipping a mickey in his drink had dragged him aboard her ship and married him before he woke up. Grandpa Eddy had taken to his fate well and set about upgrading the original Silver Shark with stolen magi-tech he pulled from hidden storage areas only he could access.

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When the clan got enough money to open a casino, it was Grandpa Eddy who made the first 'Cheater Deck'. He told them about the marked cards after he'd bankrupted every last crewmember to prove how effective they were. He'd also invented the monocles for the dealers and Pit Bosses to wear. Granny had come up with the idea of the clan wearing vests, top hats, and monocles. Other crews laughed at them, but it was a great disguise for the little bit of magi-tech that let them read the cards.

As money poured in from the first casino, they upgraded the Silver Shark to a full submersible, easier for quick getaways and smuggling runs. Black Eddy spent his last years perfecting his table and Captain's Deck. It was a work of art. In his waning years, he mentioned wanting to show his masterpiece to another Engineer, and after that, they never let him out of the bilge. Loose lips sink ships. Granny had been the dealer back then, but was on the lookout for a sharp-eyed girl with a will of iron. Abigail was the fourth Granddaughter she'd trained, not happy with the first three.

Abigail had never let the clan down, and she wasn't about to tonight. She'd get through the next hand, the fight that would happen afterward, and then find someplace quiet to soothe her aching head. She just had to convince the cards to be something else in the blink of an eye when they slid across the table to each player. Each of the cards could be anything she wished, she just had to think hard about and the table would do it for her. It was tricky. She had to read the card as she went to deal it, and then change it on the fly, setting up the hands that would make each player bet heavily.

Captain Annie was going to draw a natural flush. Whale was going to start with three 4's and then draw two 5's. Each hand got a little better as things went around the table. Full houses, a flush, and for the professor, a 10-high straight flush of diamonds. Everyone would bet more and more, assured of winning. And Mako would clean up. Normally, she'd advise Mako against such a ploy, but too much was on the line. Too much money on the tables needed to come back to them before people cashed out. So she dealt the cards and prepared to bend the deck to her will.

Captain Annie looked at her final hand, thanking her ancestors her luck had turned.

"Call and Raise 500."

Whale scowled at her cards, but pushed in chips. "Eh? This is probably a bad idea, but I'm bored and there's a lot more gold where this came from. See your 500 and raise a 1000."

Captain Squint smiled at them both. "My kitties say it's time for bed." He pushed forward all of his coins. "I call and raise you 21,378. One of my favorite numbers."

The substantial bet went to Professor Tallsqueak. The ratkin was sipping his third cup of coffee and cleaning cheese crumbs from his plate. "Oh, that's a lot of coins, yes it is. It would buy a lot of Golden Puffcakes if I quit now...but where is the fun of that? I put in 37,000 gold! That leaves me half!"

Mako was looking at the pot, then her cards. "Well, no guts, no glory. I match the professor's 37,000, and raise 13 thousand more." She looked at the other three scavenger Captains. "House rules girls: Push it all in and you can stay, even if you're a little short"

Annie laughed, "Sure, my little pile will call. Not much more to lose against that chunk of treasure." She grinned as she put in her coins.

Whale and then Cuda grinned as well, putting in their last few thousand chips. Captain Squint was already all in. Everyone turned to the Professor.

"Oh, how exciting. I may have enough to buy my own little Hollow." He looked at what Mako had in front of her, and his more substantial pile. "All in, let's clear this table, one way or another." He pushed in all of his chips, his eyes wild.

Mako was singing inside but calmly pushed in her chips. "Can't stay out of a pot like this. What do you have, Annie?"

Before Annie could answer, there was more shouting from the floor. A dozen Engineers had stood up and redeemed their chips, but three more were shouting at the Sharks responsible for the exchange.

Two-Screws was pounding on the table, with Boom-Boom and Pillbug flanking him. Annie was immediately suspicious when she saw Stumpy standing close to Pillbug.

"It was fine when you took our gold and gave us those little wooden discs. What's the problem when we want to cash out?!! What sort of scam are you Sharks running, anyway?"

Mako wanted to slam her head on the table. Why now. "Just hold your horses, all of you. Everyone gets paid! Captain's Honor! Let me finish this hand and I'll personally make everyone good!!" That seemed to calm people down.

Annie smirked, "Not with this gold, you won't. It's coming home with me." She turned over her hand, but didn't see the gnashing of teeth she'd expected. "Flush. All natural, just like my golden curls."

Whale patted her shoulder, "Sorry, Annie. You know how it goes. Luck comes in a landslide, you got some, but so did I." She turned over a full house of 4s and 5s.

Captain Cuda laid down a better full house, 7s, and 3s. She grinned at Whale. "Landslides, right? BIG Landslides."

"Indeed, it seems a shame that all the good hands come at the same time. They seem snobbish that way." Squint turned over three 8s and two 6s. "How was your luck, Professor?" Annie's mouth was hanging open like a flounder going for the hook, Cuda was staring at the cards, and Whale was eyeing Mako with displeasure and suspicion.

Professor Tallsqueak squinted at each hand and then shrugged. "I will have to write up this game and present the paper at the next meeting of the Society for Mathematical Studies. It is indeed an amazing night. Unfortunately, I couldn't put together a full house, but I do have five diamonds that are all in a row."

As the astonished captains looked on, Tallsqueak turned over a 9,10, J, K, Q, of diamonds. "Straight Flush ladies. Come visit me in my new mansion in the Hollow I'll buy with this pot."

Mako looked at the cards. "My, Professor, those really are pretty cards. Just not quite as pretty as mine. Straight Flush of spades, Ace high." She flipped over her cards and reached for the pot.

Captain Whale brought down her tankard on her hand, and bones broke. "Not so damned fast Mako! What are you trying to pull?"

"I won, fair and square, with all of you watching! Do you want to start a war, Whale? Because this is you start a war. What do you mean by doing this?!"

Whale pointed at the cards Mako had flipped over. "I'm saying that your 'Straight Flush' is a little odd. Four spades and a Captain of Clubs doesn't count for shit, Mako!"

Mako and everyone else looked as Whale spread the cards out with a dagger, clearly showing the busted hand. "My crew and I will be taking you up on your offer, Professor. Best lay in the whiskey."

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