Unlucky?Player

Chapter 223: Personification Of The Earth.

Imagine this. You watch as your friends laughed away without a single care in the world. You shared the feeling no doubt, although, deep inside you, you felt this familiar numbness. This sign of self-destruction. A bad omen of sorts. However, you accept fate and life for what it is and will be, simply because this was a part of you.

People fail to understand, that once you look deep enough, you're not looking for anything. You're simply looking at yourself. The cheers slowly die and everything becomes blurry. Your vision is focused on your two friends who now seemed closer than before. You want that, no. You yearn for that.

Every time you reach out, every time your hand moves closer to that vision. You can feel it, slowly moving away. Was it you that the vision found repulsive? Was it simply your mind tricking you?

How do you see people? Are they individuals capable of impacting you and the things around you? Or do you see them as people and just as such in this fast-moving world. Living beings who work and go about as they "live" around you.

This wasn't his fate. This wasn't supposed to be Nate's fate. But this is how he felt. Every time his hand touched Luke's shoulder, Luke would appear to be on a much taller mountain.

He looked with a confused expression as Luke freely socialized with everyone he wished to. Helplessly and hopelessly, Nate stood there with a calm look on his face as his mental state was in ruins. It wasn't for long though, with every passing second, he would push all of those feelings deep into his unconscious.

"You couldn't wait huh? You bastard. I don't know how you did itbut as long as it's you and not anyone else..guess I got some catching up to do huh?"

He was happy. That was his best friend. There was no chance on earth that he would replace that happiness with jealous and envy. If that were to ever happen then Nate would never forgive himself. Night's advancement was a huge win for the clan as well.

His mind went back to the tournament finale. The fight between Nate and Luke. They shared a stage, no, they appeared to share the stage. Just that much was enough for him. As long as he was in Luke's vision, not as a liability, but as a strength. Even back then, he had been really nervous to disclose the skills he received from Gaia.

Of course, this goes without saying, if Luke resorted to his martial arts, then even if Nate chose to use his Bloodline skills then the victor wouldn't change. Nate and Gaia didn't share the same relationship as Night and Nyx. Nyx was more mother-like than her sister, which is ironic considering Gaia is supposed to be Mother Nature.

Gaia...was a lot like Nate, she was Nyx's younger sister and the mother of many of the greatest Gods. However, she was not as strong as her sister. There was absolutely no way she could match up to someone who was called the first born. 

Nyx's potential shall forever remain untapped and unexplored. After all, that was what made up her entire being. "The unknown". However, that wasn't the case for Gaia, she was born, but it was weird, her power wasn't the same as her siblings. She made up the entire world that humans know, yet she felt this different energy, something that wasn't like what the rest of her siblings used. 

Of course, she didn't risk tapping into that source, not to mention, for some reason, she could never find a way to do so. She could feel it. Growing, with every second that passed. However, there was absolutely nothing she could do.

"I wonder when.." Nate thought as he continued walking. His body swayed wearily, it was clear that he subconsciously moved towards his destination, however, he wasn't exactly looking anymore.

Even if his absolute resolve to fight alongside his best friend wasn't present. Nate's unconscious wouldn't be that pretty. Getting abused as a child has nearly a 100% chance of it permanently scarring the child. Regardless of how much he tried blaming himself. Something's simply never made sense to him.

Ever since the incident that had just happened, his mind had been all over the place. He questioned everything and nothing. The birds that followed him around in-game, the wild animals that turned and looked at him with an expression of hope in their eyes.

"Why?" Nate questioned, it was something that he had often asked himself, even though he had answered this himself, there was still something that bothered him. Why was Noctis randomly gifted to Night? Was it something that every Bloodline carrier was given? If so, then were was Nate's Noctis?

Would he even get one? Even the animals flocking to him can be explained. Hecate was the Goddess of magic, and that included familiars as well. What if he was given nothing by Gaia, what if everything he had worked for, was nothing but fake. A glass ceiling. An illusion his mind created.

"You certainly overthink a lot..." a voice entered his head. It was Gaia. Pity wasn't exactly the reason she reached out to him. It had more to do with familiarity and a feeling of nostalgia. She looked at Nyx, the same way Nate looked to Night, although it was slightly more on a Primordial scale.

"Nice of you to join me," Nate replied as slapped his cheeks to help him focus more on the task at hand. It was funny. The grass swayed in his direction, the winds danced around as he continued walking, the trees waved at him, and yet, he hadn't noticed a single thing.

"Why do you lie to yourself? Is being kind to oneself considered selfish? Is putting yourself first considered narcissistic? You're obsessed with proving yourself to that Night boy, so much so that you forget the very foundation of your friendship. Why is that?"

Gaia, as much as Nate hated to admit, was right. He was tossed aside and overlooked, and the one time he felt needed was when he was with Luke. Luke made him feel whole again, he liked that someone depended on him, but that wasn't exactly the case. In the beginning, it sure seemed that way, however, as the days passed, Nate noticed that it was the other way round.

Even with the entire kidnapping incident. Nate was a liability. He would just slow Luke down. It was comforting to know that someone valued him enough to fight for him, but it wasn't even. That wasn't what he wanted, he wanted the ability to control the field, to be a deciding factor, much like how Luke was.

"Get out of my head," Nate grunted as he held used his hands for supporting it. His balance was all over the place, but for some reason, it felt nice. An uncomfortable feeling overtook his body, memories he had repressed were coming to the surface. They weren't pleasant but that was the entire point of repressing them.

The truth was that Luke never really cared for what Nate would or could bring to the table. He simply needed a friend, someone to himself with. Both of them accepted each other when they were at their lowest, and yet they failed to grasp the truth of their relationship.

It was weird. Usually, he'd receive some kind of notification if Gaia showed up or if he was summoned to her. However, this time, he was just communicating with her without any issue. Although, there was still something that didn't sit well with him. 

"Who you talking to?" the voice continued ringing throughout his head. He had no other option but to fall towards a tree. Nate could barely even stand up. Everything he saw, he saw three of them. He staggered along until he finally fell in front of a pond.

He cupped his hands and splashed the water onto his face. The cold and calming feeling helped slow down his breathing to the normal rate. Even if it was inside the game, Genesis boasted realism. Unfortunately, this went both ways since it also expressed all the feelings a human being could feel. 

"Motherfuc-" before he could finish his words. Nate noticed something. When the water in the pond finally calmed down, it portrayed a reflection of him. However, there was another being that surrounded him. It was like a ghost or more of a spirit that covered his figure.

"Who.?"

"You. Loser." Gaia replied as her spirit form slowly moved into his body. The truth was that all this time, Nate had simply been speaking to himself. It was funny to Gaia, but only in the beginning, once she noticed the similarities, she didn't feel like sitting back and watching. He finally received a notification regarding the appearance of Gaia. However, it didn't make sense. What was the point of this sudden episode? The timing was rather random.

"You'll understand what makes us stand apart."

"My powers.you carry my Bloodline.don't shy away from them. Use them.. Live your life to the fullest. Fulfill your legacy as Hecate's disciple and my true descendant,"

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