Chapter 88 Fear. (Part Two)
Sam followed Zero Five to the Valkyries' quarters. Arriving at the second floor he soon spotted Nine standing in front of the sor to Zero Three's room.
"Doctor!" The blond Valkyrie's expression relaxed the moment her eyes fell on him.
"Five has told me everything." He said, turning to face the door.
When the young Valkyrie didn't show up for breakfast that morning her two comrades thought something was off, however remembering the last time that happened, Nine guessed that she might've went to eat with Sam and his coworkers.
That said, when she didn't return by the time they usually start preparing for their patrol the two decided to look for her. Only then did they realize she had locked herself up in her room.
'I have a really bad feeling about this…' as he thought that to himself, Sam lifted his hand and knocked on the young Valkyrie's door.
"Zero Three, it's me…" he said. "Is everything okay?"
There was a long moment of silence that followed his question, but then a response came with a barely audible voice.
"Leave me alone."
Just from the tone Sam was able to tell she was in quite the emotional state. Normally he wouldn't have thought much of it, however after what happened with Miku he felt that he could no longer treat something like this lightly.
'Now… how am I suppose to handle this…?'
Sam let out a long sigh, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose. He was rather tired at the moment however he couldn't afford to be careless about this situation.
After thinking it through for a while he faced the door once more and asked a question.
"Three, you don't want to go patrolling today?"
A moment of silence pass, however this time there was no response. Sam waited for a few more seconds before turning to the other Valkyries.
"You two will have to handle today on your own." He said. "Stay away from the red grounds and contact the base if you spot any Calamities."
Nine and Five didn't seem too sure about his order but after a second of indecisiveness they nodded silently and left to take care of their job.
Sam waited a couple of minutes after they were gone before attempting to talk to Zero Three once more.
"Nine and Five have left, you know…" he said, but no response was offered.
Waiting for a few more seconds he took out his ID and looked at it for a moment before sliding it on the terminal beside the door.
He didn't want to force his way in but he had no other choice. That said, he never knew how unprepared he was for what he saw inside.
Three was hugging her knees in a corner. Her bed was a mess, the frame broken and half of the mattress gone. The plushies she had were damaged as well, which for some reason came as surprise more than anything else.
"... how did you…"
Hearing a weak voice Sam turned to the Valkyrie in the corner.
"I'm your supervisor now, remember?" He said. "It would be a problem if I couldn't get to you in a situation like this."
"... just…" pausing for a moment, the young Valkyrie went back to burying her face in her knees. "Leave me alone."
Seeing her like that was somewhat disturbing, however Sam tried to keep his calm, scratching the back if his head while hiding his anxiety.
Knowing that her personality was programmed to be around teenage years he began to wonder if that has something to do with it, however he found it difficult to believe that a rebellious phase would cause her to destroy her own bed like that.
After taking some time to think about his next action, Sam closed the door behind him then walked over to the young Valkyrie and without waiting for her permission he sat down right beside her.
Three raised her head and stared at him for a moment. Her eyes seemed a bit tired, hidden behind her long almond colored bangs. After he made himself comfortable she decided to move away putting a little distance between them. Afraid of making her more uncomfortable Sam decided to stay in his place allowing a few seconds to pass before speaking again.
"So… what happened?" He asked, getting straight to the topic.
Zero Three didn't respond, contuing to stare at empty air with her arms wrapped around her knees.
"You know, strange behavior like this can reflect badly on you…"
Still no response. Sam searched for something to say, however his tired mind was having trouble coming up with anything. The silence continued for a while but then the young Valkyrie spoke, though she didn't answer his question or comment of his previous remark.
"Nine and Five went out, huh?" She said, her voice a little hushed.
"Well, there is nothing to worry about." Sam said. "It 's not like we can't afford not taking a day or two off."
Things have been peaceful ever since the talking Calamity appeared, and with the headquarters deciding to abandon this part of the frontline there was no point in continuing with the patrol. From now on the only reason for them to go out would be protocol, meaning there is no problem in one of them staying behind.
The question is why did she decide to not go all of a sudden? What Zero Three did was defying orders and neglecting her duty, which should be impossible for a Valkyrie.
'It's impossible, unless…'
"I… I couldn't fall asleep…" after a silent couple of minutes the young Valkyrie decided to talk. "Every time… I close my eyes…"
Her nails dug into her skin as she tried to get the words out. Sam wanted to say she doesn't have to if she doesn't feel like it, however he couldn't afford that. He needed to learn what the problem was if he wanted to find a solution for it.
Gritting her teeth in frustration, Zero Three then took a deep breath doing her best to calm down.
"I keep seeing it… The talking Calamity. It keeps appearing and… it destroys everyone and…" as she spoke, tears began rolling down her cheeks. "And in the end it… it grabs my neck and…"
Before she could say the last word the young Valkyrie felt her whole body moving. Sam had reached out with both hands and quickly pulled her into his embrace, only realizing that he did so when he was already hugging her.
"... it's okay…" he said, still confused by his own actions. "You're safe now. No one will ever hurt you."
Three was stunned at first, not understanding what was going on. Her first reaction should've been to push him away, however as he tightly wrapped her in his arm she felt strangely at ease to the point that, for just a moment, she honestly believed that no harm would befall her as long as she was in his hands.
Grasping his shirt, she stopped fighting the tears and let it all out.
"I… I don't want to do it anymore, Doctor!" The strange sense of security eased her fears, because of that she couldn't help but voice some of the thoughts she knew she couldn't say in front of the others. "I don't want to fight the Calamities! I don't… I don't want to get destroyed! I was able to open my eyes the last time I got hurt but… who knows if that would happen the next time? What if I got damaged so badly that you wouldn't be able to repair me anymore?"
As he listened to her wails, Sam's whole body shook with terror. He ran the words through his mind again and again, each time arriving to the same conclusion. It was impossible to deny it at this point.
The Valkyries were made with the ability to analyze their surroundings and choose the right emotion to emulate in response to the situation they're in, however some emotions were restricted to make sure they're able to perform their role as weapons.
Fear is a necessary emotion, it's directly tied to life itself. Every living creature fears it's own death, that's what fuels its desire to live and survive.
Valkyries aren't supposed to feel fear. They aren't supposed to worry about what happens to them when they get destroyed, otherwise they wouldn't be able to fight. The fact that she considered such scenario and is unwilling to put herself in a position that would lead to it could only mean one thing.
She is no longer a weapon. She is a living creature afraid of it's own demise. Putting aside all the power that comes with the shell of a Valkyrie, Zero Three is just a young girl now. She is more or less a human being.
"Doctor… I… I…"
"It's alright." Sam said, gently patting her on the head. "You don't have to fight if you dont want to…"
If he ever had any doubts left, the girl crying on his chest right now had erased all of them. Sam could no longer see her as a weapon. However when he noticed that he had arrived to that realization, his mind couldn't help but to remind him that of the trouble that came with such line of thought.
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