Vaudevillain

Chapter 208: For the Last Time!

It was a week after the great race on Skyline, and Dylan was still trying to decide what to do with his last grams of Phlebotinium. Ten grams was a lot of extra power to gain all at once, sticking Dylan with choice anxiety. The player sat with his menu open, the list of upgrades for Mad Science scrolling through his vision. Dylan groaned as the Phlebotinium burned a hole in his pocket.

Though, realistically, most of the choices were easy. Dylan could only use half of his winnings to upgrade his character's powers, leaving the other half free for any zany invention the player thought up. Two of the already halved five grams went to Sciencium generation, leaving three floating around inside Dylan's inventory for other abilities.

He knew he wanted one of the grams to grant Dr. Zlo an extra power, as Mad Science wasn't cutting it anymore. Dylan needed something that let him create on the fly and maybe shored up some of Dr. Zlo's weaknesses. The other two grams were going to go into one of the choices scrolling through his menu, but what that was, Dylan couldn't say. Vert's technology gave a list of upgrades that allowed for almost any playstyle.

Eventually, Dylan gave up on deciding. He had plenty of time to use the materials, and the player knew others who were more adept at navigating the sea of choicessomeone like Jack, for instance.

But before Dylan could give his friend a call, Cass came running in.

"Boss! You gotta come stop the Jacques!" the butler shouted.

Dr. Zlo rolled his eyes and turned around, "Ugh, what is it this time?"

For some reason, the Jacques's behavior the past few days had been strange. Well, stranger than usual. Dr. Zlo's group of hapless minions were always a bit out there in terms of programming, but the minions' recent endeavors blew the rest out of the water.

Maybe it was the loss of Quartet. Again. Dr. Zlo had gotten rid of the minion after the race. Mostly because Dylan wanted to reenact one of the old villain classics. He recalled the memory.

"You have failed me for the last time, Quartet!" Dr. Zlo shouted.

The villain stood over his minion, leaning on a control panel with oversized knobs. Quartet looked up at his maker, fear all over his face. Heavy chains, the kind used in construction work, wrapped the minion, holding him suspended in the air. Again, Quartet tried to use his powers, only for them to fail.

In the corner of the room, a white orb flared in a rainbow hue. The power dampener was something Dr. Zlo came up with after the race as part of his new interrogation and punishment room. Various spikes and grinders rested between the metallic walls of his new space, a series of pulleys and winches secured above them. In another corner sat an uncomfortable-looking chair, open clamps bolted to the seat for struggling prisoners. Above it all sat a small pedestal, where Dr. Zlo could look down on his prisoners and gloat.

The only minor hiccup was the power dampener. While it was in the room, no one could use any superpowers, not even Dr. Zlo. The villain had tried to fix that minor issue but found that the Phlebotinium cost was too extravagant. Dr. Zlo didn't want to waste most of his Phlebotinium on one device.

Dr. Zlo's newest invention in hero suppression! The Power Dampener restricts the use of superpowers, blocking any access to them through strange energies. Careful not to get caught inside!

Spring (1)

Crystal Ball (1)

Wet Blanket (1)

Phlebotinium (3 g)

"I do wish you would stop struggling," Dr. Zlo said. "It only makes it worse for you. After all, my power dampener will make sure your abilities stay dormant. Enough time to enact your final punishment!"

Quartet continued to struggle, looking up at Dr. Zlo with pleading eyes, "Boss! I'm sorry! I promise. I won't do it again!"

"Save it!" Dr. Zlo roared. "Do you think I would be foolish enough to keep you around after your betrayal? That I, the greatest criminal mastermind, would ever risk you pulling the same stunt again? How little your opinion of me must be, Quartet."

"Boss! I swear! I promise I won't ever do it again! I'll wear a collar or something! Yeah? You can hold the remote, and it'll shock me if I ever get out of line!"

Dr. Zlo pulled one of the knobs, slowly lowering Quartet. Dylan had debated dropping Quartet into a spike pit or something but decided that losing two grams of Phlebotinium was too much. Instead, he had Brunhilde command a team of Jacques to move the disassembler into the interrogation room. That way, Dr. Zlo could recoup his losses.

The disassembler rumbled under Dr. Zlo's traitorous minion, the machine's feeding tube open and hungry for Quartet's materials. The minion continued to struggle against his chains, becoming more and more animated as the feeding tube approached.

"Boss! Please!" The minion tried one last time.

"No, Quartet," Dr. Zlo said darkly. "You have failed me for the last time."

With those words, Dr. Zlo pulled the lever, releasing the chains and dropping Quartet straight into the disassembler. The minion screamed in horror as he fell, only for his foot to catch the lip of the feeding tube. Quartet continued to cry out, the sound echoing out the feeding tube.

"Oh, for goodness sake!" Dr. Zlo complained. The villain huffed and stepped off his pedestal, making his way to Quartet. "I go to all this trouble to set up a thoroughly intimidating example, and you ruin it by clinging on for dear life. Honestly, have you no sense of decorum?"

Quartet only answered with a scream.

Dr. Zlo sighed, "How did you even catch the feeding tube? I made sure the opening was big enough to fit all of you!"

Still grumbling, he stepped up next to the disassembler. He found Quartet's foot a second later. The minion's shoe's tongue had caught onto the disassembler's edge and was the sole reason for Quartet's continued survival.

"Alright, once more from the top," Dr. Zlo said, taking out his cane.

Quartet continued to scream.

"You have Oh for the love of" Dr. Zlo stopped again as Quartet's screams grew louder. The villain cleared his voice and yelled over the crying, "Ahem. YOU HAVE FAILED ME FOR THE LAST TIME, QUARTET!!!"

Dr. Zlo pushed with his cane, sending the minion's dress shoe over the feeding tube. Quartet continued to scream all the way down, his voice cutting off abruptly as the disassembler went to work. A moment later, two grams of depleted Phlebotinium rested at the other end, along with the rest of Quartet's materials.

The villain nodded appreciatively. "It seems at least one of my inventions can perform the task required of it," he said. "Jacques!"

The sound of stumbling footsteps answered Dr. Zlo's shout, a group of Jacques appearing at the room's entrance a moment later.

"Take the disassembler back to my lab, will you? And find me Cass."

"Right here, boss," Cass answered.

Dr. Zlo jumped in surprise, turning to see Cass a few steps behind him.

"Gah! Don't do that!" the villain demanded.

"Sorry, boss," Cass said. "It's in my nature."

"Indeed," Dr. Zlo eyed his minion. "Get me a drink. I need something to wash away the taste of Quartet's failure."

"You got it, boss," Cass answered.

Dr. Zlo scooped up Quartet's materials before the Jacques picked up the disassembler. "Maybe your next incarnation will be a bit smarter," he muttered.

Yes, Dylan recalled the memory fondly. He'd gotten to say, you have failed me for the last time. It was a classic villain trope that showed just how ruthless the bad guy could be, even if it showed poor planning skills. Getting rid of minions always made the others less trusting, which bred rebellion in the ranks. Of course, Dr. Zlo didn't have to worry about that. All of his minions were loyal creations.

Dr. Zlo followed Cass up the stairs into the kitchen on the ground floor. Along the way, Cass tried explaining what happened.

"So I was cleaning the kitchen, trying to make it all nice after Brunhilde tried to make a cake, and a Jacques runs in and starts opening the freezer! It starts taking cube after cube of ice and running off with it. Next thing I know, three more come in and do the same thing!"

"Doesn't seem all that different from their normal behavior," Dr.Zlo mused.

"That's not it, boss," Cass said. "I wouldn't have got you if it was just the ice cubes. No, it was when they ran out of ice cubes that things got weird."

Cass opened the door to the kitchen, revealing around three Jacques in the kitchen. It was around three because one of the Jacques was missing both arms. However, the minion was still trying to get into the refrigerator, which it attempted by smacking its head against the door. The other two Jacques ignored the third's plight in favor of opening all the cupboards and grabbing all the cups.

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