Vaudevillain

Chapter 49: Jailhouse Rock

For a moment, neither side moved. Dr. Zlo's group stood still in the hope that the Quli in power armor didn't react. Then, an alien stepped through the line of ray guns.

"State your business," they declared in an imperious voice.

"Transporting prisoners," a Quli answered.

The imperious alien stepped forward and grabbed Dr. Zlo by the chin. They turned his face every which way, "So these are the attackers who used our own technology against us."

Dr. Zlo knocked the hand away.

The Quli smiled. "Fiesty. Nevertheless, we will break you."

The alien waved to the surrounding guards. "Take them to the holding cells. And you," they pointed at the mind-controlled aliens. "Thank you for escorting the prisoners. I am now retasking you with holding the line below us."

Dr. Zlo glanced at Mabel, who nodded. "Do you honestly think you can hold me?" He started.

The Quli turned with a questioning look. "What makes you think you can escape?

"Oh boy, here we go," Sweet Dream sighed. "You just activated his gloating switch. Now he'll be all day with it."

"I cannot be gloating if I tell the truth! I am Dr. Zlo, villainous mastermind and genius inventor! I have delved past the mysteries none would dare tread and have emerged the greatest of all! No cage would be able to hold my mighty intellect!"

"And no cage can hold me either! For I am Riptide, greatest surfer the world has ever known!" Riptide looked at Sweet Dream.

"What?"

"Do it."

"What? No. I don't need to announce my presence."

"C'mon, I know you want to."

"I will not."

"Just a small intro?"

"No."

"I won't stop until you say something."

Sweet Dream glared at him.

"Do it," Riptide said.

"Fine." Exasperated, Sweet Dream turned to the alien and spoke in a tired voice, "and I am Sweet Dream, lover of all things candy and your worst nightmare."

Riptide gave Sweet Dreama thumbs up.

"And I am Qurana, vice-captain of this grand station. The might of the entire Quli empire bears down on your puny planet. We have devoured stars, scoured solar systems, made entire galaxies void. We have performed greater feats than any of your pitiful earthlings. Our might knows no equal. You may find solace in the fact you are not the first. For we are a black hole of force sent to rule over all things!"

The end of the speech had Qurana standing tall; a fist raised to the air in triumph. Dr. Zlo clapped. "Excellent. Truly marvelous. Tell me, who writes your material?"

Qurana smiled wickedly. "You will find out shortly. Take them away. And you lot, get down to the surface already!"

The surrounding Quli saluted as Qurana left to oversee other matters. Mabel's mind-controlled minions followed Qurana's order. The distraction from Dr. Zlo bought enough time for the woman to reissue commands. The mothership guards grabbed the group and dragged them off the tractor beam pad.

"Get moving," a guard commanded. He shoved Cass towards the door at the end of the room. The butler stumbled forward, dropping their metallic tray. He scrambled to grab it. Laughing, one of the guards kicked it away. He grabbed Cass by the collar and pulled him to his feet.

"Now, there's no need for that kind of violence," Mabel said. Everyone looked at the guards in expectation, waiting for the moment they stiffened to follow Mabel's orders. Instead, a glimmer of light rotated around each guard's head as the words spoke.

"She has control powers, get a gag on her," one guard said. Two guards grabbed Mabel and held her mouth closed. A third pulled out a strange-looking ring and looped it over Mabel. The ring whirred to life and expanded to snap snugly over Mabel's mouth, preventing the woman from speaking.

Sweet Dream looked at Dr. Zlo, "that is not good."

"No," he said. "It is not. No matter, we are inside. An opportunity will present itself."

"Dudes, we could try and take them," Riptide said. A guard pushed the barrel of their gun into his back. "Or we could see where these aliens take us."

Nodding his agreement, Dr. Zlo allowed the guards to escort them out of the tractor beam room and into the mothership. The single door hissed open to reveal a ringed hallway. Every few feet held another door, and after three doors a hallway perpendicular to their own appeared. Dr. Zlo memorized the route in his mind. While he was confident he could find a map, it never hurt to know the way out.

The guards turned at the third hallway and pushed the group down to a flight of stairs at the end. Four floors stood above them, each mimicking the layout of the bottom floor. The guards led everyone up to the very top and brought them to the middle of the fifth floor. A large ring of cells suspended in mid-air and separated by a forcefield greeted them. Guards stood at attention in front of a tube leading inside.

"New prisoners for the jailer," one guard said.

Nodding, the guard standing at attention tapped on a keypad. The suspended cages circled around to connect with the open tube. The door hummed open, and the prisoners were shoved inside. The tube closed with a snap, leaving the group alone with a small yellow light.

A man fell from the ceiling. Wires and tubes wrapped around his body, running up through the roof and outside. "Welcome," the man said in a cheery, synthesized voice. "I am the jailer, your guard during your stay here. Before we start orientation, I must inform you that any act of aggression will result in your immediate termination."

"What do you mean by aggression?" asked Sweet Dream.

"Any act that would cause irreparable harm to this facility."

"So, he's fair game?" Sweet Dream pointed to Riptide.

"Other prisoners are not part of the facility until linked with the grand computer."

"Okay, and what is the grand computer?"

"That will be covered in orientation. Come along." A jail door hissed open and the jailer moved inside.

"You might want to get your hacker ready," Sweet Dream whispered.

"An excellent idea," Dr. Zlo answered. He brought up his inventory and grabbed the new invention he had made to hack the mothership. A device around the size of a smartphone dropped into his hands.

The group walked through the open doors with trepidation, ready to attack at a moment's notice. "Come along," the jailer said again. "We must start orientation soon."

"Oh, that's messed up, dude," said Riptide as he stepped into the room. Above them were rows and rows of pods, each housing scores of Quli and Earthlings. Each pod connected to a squid-shaped rack, which in turn connected to a large wire that led up to a massive holographic face.

"Meet the Warden," the jailer chirped. "He will go over your orientation during your stay with us."

Sweet Dream stared up at the massive face. "Zlo, if I get stuck in the matrix because of your insane plan, I will find a way to escape and murder you."

"Fret not! My genius has already predicted this outcome," Dr. Zlo raised the hacking tool to his face and powered it on. The phone-sized object whistled as it started up. A small blue circle spun, the universal sign that the device needed to load.

"Dude, you might want to hurry," Riptide saw one of the racks shift and spin down to the floor. The doors opened with a clunk, and five empty pods whirred forward.

"It's loading," Dr. Zlo said. "Keep it busy for a few seconds."

"A simple plan he said, all the candy in the world he said," Sweet Dream sarcastically complained.

"No need to be sour," Dr. Zlo punned.

"I'm not sour; I'm bitter. And you better get us out of this, or you'll learn the true meaning of dark chocolate." Sweet Dream shifted into her hulking form.

Riptide pulled out his board, "dude, I think I've done more fighting today than all of last week combined."

"Less talking, more distracting," Sweet Dream replied. Taking her own advice, she shot off a spray of chocolate at some exposed wiring.

The phone screen lit up with a bright blue light. "Got it," Dr. Zlo said. Instructions appeared on the screen.

Hacking Tool Instructions:

Highlight item to be hacked in square

Tap screen

Protect the tool as it hacks

Dr. Zlo aimed the phone at the holographic head and tapped the screen. Immediately, the lights in the jail flashed red.

"Act of aggression detected, executing termination procedure."

The Warden's deep voice boomed as pods near the top hissed open and pulled out wire covered humanoids exactly like the jailer.

"Hacking finished in a minute!" Dr. Zlo yelled over the voice. "Hold them off until then!"

Reaching into his inventory, Dr. Zlo pulled out two ray guns, tossing one to Cass and Mabel. "Just in case your weapons don't work."

Cass grabbed the gun gratefully, letting off a potshot as he fumbled with the trigger. It struck one of the lights above. Mabel grabbed the weapon like it was a used napkin and stored it in her purse. She then aimed her bag at an incoming jailer and squeezed the pearl lining. A sonic cone burst out of the purse, shaking the jailer off course with the whining sound.

Riptide flew through the weaving jailers, firing off lasers to keep the swarm from encircling him. Sweet Dream provided support, gunking up motors and servos with blasts of chocolate. A jailer dove down and attempted to shove the woman into one of the pods, but missed Sweet Dream's real body and emerged covered in chocolate.

"Sh*t," she cursed. "That took a lot out of me. Zlo, how much longer!"

"Thirty seconds," Dr. Zlo said. He tapped his feet, rocket shoes activating and lifting him away from two oncoming jailers.

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