Vaudevillain

Shizuka took a moment to breathe as she came upon the defended machine. Dr. Zlo had spared no expense in making the contraption look evil, that was for sure. The sleek chrome cylinder in the middle contained a number of red lights that blinked ominously. Metal tentacles wriggled inside like live snakes, ready to grab whatever was tossed inside.

The heroes had already grabbed hold of the machine, their coordination apparently better than the villains. That made sense to Shizuka though, heroes were always more coordinated than villains.

Which was part of the reason why being a villain was more fun. There was just something satisfying about breaking things. Especially the things people tried to protect.

Good thing there were games to help her get her fix.

Quietly, Shizuka crept forward. The machine waited in a clearing, the heroes having moved it to a park that they proceeded to flatten. She caught others waiting on the roofs of the few surrounding buildings, keeping their eyes out for anyone nefarious.

It was a good setup, she admitted. Too bad her stealth skills were legendary.

The ninja used her power, hand signs forming as she sank into the earth like a stone in water. In moments, she was underground, swimming toward the heroes with her weapons at the ready. The plan was to pop out right next to one of the heroes and quickly toss them into the machine. Because once that started, there was no stopping it.

“Some fries, Motherf*cker!” she yelled as she erupted from the ground.

Except, the hero she expected wasn’t there.

No, the hero in front of her stood as a stark contrast to Shizuka. Where she wore black, they wore white. Where her weapons were traditional, theirs were modern. Where she used the ancient art of ninjutsu… well they still used ninjutsu.

Without a word, Shizuka’s heroic alter ego brought a pistol to bear.

“Oh boy!” the villainess yelped, quickly avoiding the shot with her powers. An innocent piece of wood took the strike for her instead.

“Gasp! You monster!” Shizuka cried. “He was just an innocent sapling!”

The taunts confused the surrounding heroes, but her stoic counterpart simply shifted their aim. Shizuka reacted, throwing a kunai that buried itself right into the gun’s nozzle.

She paused in shock. “Holy sh*t.”

“Guys!” she shouted to the heroes. “Look! First try!”

Another use of her power saw her avoiding an incoming slash from a combat knife.

“Wow, alternate me’s a buzzkill,” Shizuka said. “Come on, this is the exciting part of the fight! The banter!”

She threw a smokebomb on the ground, using the distraction to run to the nearest hero. “Am I right, my guy?” she asked.

Said hero reacted with a punch and a yelp, obviously surprised at her ninja prowess.

“No, no!” she exclaimed. “You’re supposed to come up with witty one liners!”

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“I’m not great at being put on the spot!” the hero answered.

“Oh, shame,” Shizuka said. And then two of her had the hero by the arms. “Well, strong silent type is more villainous anyway.”

The ninja and her clones picked the man up and tossed him at Dr. Zlo’s machine, only for him to be intercepted by anti-Shizuka.

Good-Shizuka? Eh, she’d workshop the name. It wasn’t like they had a good one before.

“You’re right, he is a catch!” Shizuka joked. Her heroic counterpart simply threw a knife at her face.

She avoided it with dextrous aplomb, as any good ninja should do. And then, again as any good ninja should do, she vanished back into the ground. Except, this time she prepared some traps.

Just because her aesthetic was traditional ninja didn’t mean she couldn’t use more esoteric weapons. Luckily, she had a teammate that loved their strange weaponry.

Case in point, the mines she was now laying as she swam.

When she erupted from the earth once more, her alter ego was there to meet her, gun in one hand and knife in the other. Shizuka smiled and met both with her own weapons.

“Let’s dance!” she cackled.

Bullets flew past as she twisted away while her knife flashed out in retaliation. Anti-Shizuka parried the first strike and moved away from the rest, obviously trying to gain distance to use her pistol more effectively.

“Don’t go!” she said. “I can’t beat the sh*t out of you if you aren’t closer!”

“You stole that line from YoYo!” someone shouted.

“My guy!” she shouted. “If using a meme offends you stay off the internet!”

Another shot came close, but again Shizuka used her power to avoid the attack. That poor tree, however, was not having a good day. Well, better it than her.

More heroes had moved toward their fight, though none tried intruding on it. Instead, they all grouped in a circle, cheering on the fight.

“So, I think you’re all forgetting that this is a team battle,” Shizuka said. “But not to worry! I’ve got the solution.”

Her hand pressed the detonation button, unleashing her gifted weapons. The ground exploded, shocking the heroes around her except her counterpart. Though, with the amount of dust kicked up, neither of them could continue the fight.

A second later she heard the first shocked screams. A cackle escaped her lips, which in turn revealed her location to anti-shizuka. The white-clad hero pulled a submachine gun from their storage and unleashed it in her direction. The deafening rat-a-tat-tat cut out all other noise and forced the villainess to the ground.

She grabbed some shuriken from her storage and flicked them in the direction of her attacker, taking care to mask the angle of attack. She made a number of clones later, each one dashing off in a different direction while she sank back into the ground.

When the dust cleared, she reemerged, smiling at the carnage wrought.

The mines she had gotten from Dr. Zlo were some of the more evil ones. When they detonated, they launched a series of hatbots into the sky. Said hatbots instantly homed in on the surrounding people and dove, latching onto their heads. Exoskeletons would then unfurl, grabbing the person and puppeting them like a doll. People with superstrength could escape, but Dr. Zlo had used his strongest materials for these.

The puppeteers were in the midst of causing chaos. Heroes that were once on the same side were now in pitched battle. Some of the heroes were trying to get the hats off their foes, but others had no qualms just blasting.

Shizuka’s heroic alter ego had seen this and instantly started using her weapons on the hats.

“Well we can’t have that,” the ninja said. She conjured some more clones and leaped into the fray.

“En guarde!” she shouted, bringing a short sword to bear.

Her foe twirled away, but not before her blade sliced through the submachine gun, rendering it useless.

Shizuka smiled, she could tell anti-shizuka was scowling under her mask. Slowly, the ninja in white pulled a sword out as well and readied it.

“Yeah, let’s go!” Shizuka whooped. Her clones dashed forward, met in turn by her counterpart’s own. Swords clanged and grunts echoed around as they fought for dominance.

Shizuka’s own sword rattled against her foe’s, the two locking them together as if they were puzzle pieces. The picture in Shizuka’s mind had her giddy with excitement as she slashed and parried over and over.

Both gave and received cuts while all around the fight stayed chaotic. And then suddenly, both their swords shattered at the same time.

There was a beat of surprise from both hero and villain before they got back into it. Knives came back out, the blades dancing like erratic fireflies between them.

Shizuka smiled in joy. “Finally, a worthy opponent!”

Anti-Shizuka said nothing, as was her wont.

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