Chapter 30 Painful Memories & First Tears
[In Rain's Room]
Rain was lying on the bed, deep in slumber, with a peaceful expression on his face.
His body was still, and his breathing was steady, indicating that he was in a state of profound rest.
While thinking about Emma and his past, Rain didn't know when he slept.
Even though Rain had been consuming potions and elixirs, his mind was exhausted and stressed from the intense training that he had been undergoing.
His mental fatigue and stress had accumulated over time, and he desperately needed a break.
As a result, he slept soundly on his bed, oblivious to the world around him. In his exhausted state, he had not even had dinner, which only contributed to his already depleted energy levels.
At some point, Mark entered the room to check on Rain. However, Rain did not respond to his calls, and because of that Mark entered the room.
Upon entering the room, Mark saw that Rain was in a deep sleep.
After seeing Rain's state, Mark simply left the room without disturbing him deciding that he needed rest rather than anything else.
In the middle of the night, Rain was stirred awake from his slumber by the constant nagging of his thoughts about the plot, Emma, Kaya, and the heroines.
Unable to find solace in his bed, Rain decided to venture outside and go for a walk.
To avoid making any noise, he used his "Shadow walk" technique and made his way quietly to the lakeside.
Even though he just got this skill yesterday, as he used it in Nameless Grave many times. His was somewhat adapted to it.
This was Rain's favorite location, and it happened to be conveniently located near his home.
Once he arrived, he settled down by the shore, taking a moment to sit and reflect.
The tranquility of the lake's surroundings and the calmness of the night gave him a sense of peace, providing some much-needed respite from his worries. Rain started thinking.
'I was introverted from childhood. In my previous life, I didn't have parents. Neither they came to me nor I found them.
However in this life, I have parents, and they care about me. I know they have difficulties with Kaya, uncle, and aunty's death. But what about me?'
One of Rain's death flags was also his relationship with his parents.
His parents didn't want to feel Kaya a lack of parents and they knew Kaya's hate for Rain.
Still, they did nothing. If only they did something, his and Kaya's relationship would be different.
'They also didn't do anything about Emma. If they had told me about Emma and canceled the engagement abruptly.'
'We still would be friends.' Rain lamented.
As he thought this, he felt how dumb it sounded.
'No, it's just my imagination.' Then he just shook his head.
'When they told me to stay away from Emma, I didn't listen. Now I'm questioning my decision. I don't think Emma, who seems to "hate men", would ever want to be friends with me. Why was I so foolish?' He couldn't help but question himself, wondering why he had made a foolish mistakes.
Rain's second death flag was Kaya,
even for her parents' revenge, she did everything to make fall him into the abyss.
Even in the plot, Rain knew everything she did, but he forgave her. He thought - she did it for her parents.
He believed - after she takes revenge for her parents, they will become good siblings like they were in childhood.
'But...
Was it naive to think like this?' Rain questioned himself. Nothing like this happened in the plot.
And Rain's third death flag was his classmate Arya Hillson, a Third heroine and only heroine with whom he was somewhat friendly.
After his relationships with Kaya and Emma turned sour, Arya was his only friend.
She was from a common family, still Rain became friends with her.
However, she never took his side and just snuggled in the arms of the Protagonist.
'Was I the only one who thought that we were friends?' Although he didn't have much relationship with Arya he still felt bad.
The last nail in the coffin was Emma.
The first friend of Rain.
Rain's first & only love. His fiancé.
If you ask whom Rain trusted most, it would be Emma.
'Looks like in every world pink-colored hair heroines are heartbreakers, huh…' Rain just smiled wryly.
'Although only some things have happened till now.
Will I be betrayed and killed by them in the future? Still, thinking about the plot in the game makes my heart ache.'
Rain's chest hurt just by thinking this.
'Why? Even in my previous life, I was lonely and never had parents.
Even if I don't say it, I also wanted a happy family. I also wanted friends. But I couldn't make them. Seeing those greedy eyes of people, I often get scared.'
Rain's feelings were gradually coming out.
'I also wanted to love someone.
But the man who never got a single shred of love, how can he love someone else?
After everything, my emotions died.'
Even in his past life, Rain never felt like this.
'I just lived like a machine and kept working in the black company. In the end, I also died lonely.
I am also lonely in this life. It appears that like our name we are the same, huh. As his ego said, we are not two but one.
After all, Rain Holmes & Rain are a single person, who lived a different life.' Rain chuckled at himself.
Then he started thinking about future events.
'Day after tomorrow on my birthday,
Emma will give me an engagement dissolvment contract as a gift.
I also have the old dissolvment contract she gave me before the duel. Now I will have 2 of them. It will be like pairs.' Rain felt funny about this. A pair of contracts might look beautiful.
'Kaya will also make fun of me.
Yeah, she will beat me up duel and this time it would be solo. Because in the game, Rain at that time was still injured. She will also start making her faction after this in earnest.'
Although now he was healed, thinking about whether he will be challenged or Kaya will come up with another plot. Rain felt complex feelings.
'And my parents will do nothing.
Just like my every birthday, they will host a huge, grand ass party and give me money as a gift.
Still, I don't think I can't say about this. After all, I was the fool who said - Kaya is not a competitor, she is my sister. So treat her kindly whatever she does to me.'
Rain laughed at himself.
'How foolish I was? What kind of bug bit me to say this?' Rain wanted to beat his past self.
'You can say this will be the worst birthday for me. Even thinking about it. It pains me.'
Looking at the lake, Rain recalled that this was the place where he first met Emma.
That's the reason that this was his favorite place.
Rain downcasted his face, and started staring at his reflection in the lake.
Then he saw that a handsome man was crying there.
'Looks like for the first time in two lives I cried, huh.' Rain muttered inwardly.
"Hey Mark, you did the job I told you?"
Rain knew that Mark was hiding behind the tree. He follows him for security reasons many times. That's why he took Charles' permission before outdoor training, so nobody would follow him.
"Yes, you master."
Mark grimly answered. It looked like he didn't think - Rain knew he would follow him.
"Hey, Mark, you know, even with getting a chance to (reincarnate and) live happily ever after.
I can even resolve myself to do bad things, you know? And becoming a villain in everyone's eyes.
I can even withstand being hated by those around me, even my loved ones.
(Even died by hands of them whom I love.)
Even if they hate me, I just hopelessly love them.
But... This Loneliness is hard to bear."
After saying this, Rain quickly wiped the tears, and with a bright smile he said,
"Let's go, There are many things to do."
After some time, Rain returned to the room and slept comfortably.
Rain felt that shoulders were light like some heavy weight was lifted from there.
The pressure he endured till now by himself was lifted. The chains of relationships were not binding him now. He was truly free from everything.
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