When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

Story 6 - Slapping Faces and Entering Sects (10)

During that time period, I had forgotten that, aside from those women willing to share a man, there were other female character types in harem novels. One example was the classic trope of the protagonist’s ex-fiancée.

Often, in an effort to free herself from someone she and her family saw as a weak man with no prospects, she would call off the engagement. This would humiliate the male lead and give him another reason to grow more powerful. This also led to him eventually face slapping her and her family.

But, Bloodsword started out in a poor village. Then he became the disciple of a peak elder. He also wasn’t weak. There wasn’t a way to use this classic trope effectively.

But would that stop this world’s dumbass harem author? No.

And the answer he came up with to shoehorn bits of this trope into the story was Bitch the McTraitorFace. She played a similar role to the ex-fiancée. Except that she never had an engagement with Bloodsword... nor was she even his girlfriend.

Not for lack of trying.

During the time McTraitorFace was following after the male lead like a cat eyeing a fresh fish, and sometime shortly after Bloodsword’s run-in with Bloody Crimson Sword Edge, the world protagonist started to hide his strength.

Because that’s what they do.

Only… he hid it a little too well.

McTraitorFace became upset with Bloodsword. She thought he hadn’t been practicing enough and loudly berated him in front of me. Telling him that others his age had already reached the peak of Qi Condensation.

There was also this other guy I could barely remember who started courting her. Maybe his name was Jack Ass or something? Whatever. He was also the direct disciple of one of the peak elders and a half step from Foundation Establishment.

At one point, McTraitorFace, Bloodsword, Jack Ass, Jack Ass’s best friend, and I, all went on a sect mission together.

I had tagged along only reluctantly and with a great amount of grievance because I needed the contribution points.

After collecting the spiritual flower we needed for the mission, we came across three spiritual fruits called the Illustrious Foundation Cleansing Fruit. As its name implied, it could help someone create a better foundation when eaten or added to a pill.

Having finally gotten good at alchemy, I recommended that we bring them back to make pills since that would bring out the best effect of the fruit. This way, we could all benefit equally.

I had suggested this because I was a rational, innocent, and logical person.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t a world where rationality and logic mattered. And innocence only got in the way.

McTraitorFace, Jack Ass, and his buddy decided that they should just eat the fruit regardless of what was best for the group and themselves. They were stronger than us, after all. That meant that they ‘deserved’ the fruit that we had all worked together to collect.

The three waited until I collected and stored the fruit properly in jade boxes. Then they surrounded us.

Bloodsword must have seen the greed in their eyes because he grabbed one of the boxes, leaving me holding the other two. I swiftly dumped them in my storage bag.

They’d pointed their weapons at us then Jack Ass said, “Hand over the fruit and I’ll let you two die with intact corpses.”

At that point, I figured that there was no reasoning with these people.

I mean, if we’d gone through with my suggestion we could have all benefited. But these fuckin’ dumbasses didn’t care. They didn’t want to share with anyone.

Of course, their goal might have been to prevent Bloodsword from improving. If he became stronger than Jack Ass, his new girlfriend would do what McTraitorFaces do and go back to chasing Bloodsword again.

Jack Ass didn’t want that.

Fuckin’ idiot.

This was the point I decided to not be like these assholes and covet what others have. Instead, I would create what I wanted or needed. The things I created would be mine, and what was mine would stay mine (unless I decided to sell it or give it as a gift).

But I was still in a dilemma. While I wasn’t weak, I still doubted that I could win against these three peak Qi Condensation cultivators. Especially since I also thought that deceptive asshole, Bloodsword, was weaker than I was.

But, I had recently created my Transmigrated into a Novel Club Rules with four developed rules. The last one (at the time) was — Always stay on the main character's side even if the odds seem bad.

Because of this rule, and because I hated it when people took my things, I refused to do what I believed at the time was logical. I refused to give up the fruit to save myself. These traitorous fuckers didn’t deserve it.

With this in mind, I told them that I would give the fruit to them as long as they let me live.

Then I, pretending to be overly nervous, took the fruit out of my bag to show off. Using some sleight of hand I’d practiced, I secretly switched out the fruit boxes for empty ones. When their eyes were wholly focused on the white jade, I used spiritual energy to throw all of the empty boxes in my storage bag in random directions. The boxes quickly flew away which thoroughly distracted the three assholes.

This was when I ran.

Bloodsword, like most protagonists, was not a complete idiot. At least, not when it came to saving his own skin.

The teen quickly realized that I’d given us an advantage and he ran after me.

Unfortunately, Jack Ass followed us. It didn’t take long for that freakily speedy guy to catch up.

Bloodsword and I used the sword style and Qi techniques our master taught us to fight him off. We did pretty well for ourselves and cornered Jack Ass between two massive trees and a cliff face.

Then his friend sneaked up to us. The guy attacked Bloodsword using a very powerful Fire Dragon spell that was far above his realm.

That fucking selfish shit biscuit was fighting next to me. Instead of dodging, he pulled me over to use as a goddamn human shield!

If I hadn’t had a life-saving token that Fairy Verdant Bamboo gave me, I would have died!

At that point, I immediately created the fifth rule — Don’t get too close to the main character as you are squishy and do not have a protective halo.

Fortunately, after that attack, Jack Ass’s friend was out of Qi and dealing with the side effects of using a technique beyond his ability.

Since I couldn’t murder the main character for using me as a goddamn shield, I took out my anger on Jack’s friend.

He quickly went down when I cut off his arm and ruthlessly stabbed him through the heart. Then Bloodsword finally showed some of the fucking strength he was hiding by attacking Jack Ass’s weak spot with a special sword attack he must have learned after combining with Bloody Crimson Sword Edge.

That took care of two of the three jackasses.

Unfortunately, McTraitorFace had stayed back to collect boxes. By the time we went to kill her she’d realized what happened, cut her losses and run.

Eventually, she made it back to the safety of the sect and hooked up with another creep who had good prospects. Unfortunately for her, he didn’t make it past Foundation Establishment.

Like all girls that fell into the ‘Main Character’s Ex’ trope, she eventually became too proud to admit that she was ‘wrong’ in choosing someone other than Bloodsword.

Every time he improved while her lover stayed the same was a slap to her face. Not able to stand it anymore, she tried to have him killed (as if that proved anything). Her plot failed when the assassins she hired were captured. They turned traitor and exposed her. After that, I heard she died horribly in some mystical forest somewhere.

A classic end to a classic evil ex-fiancée.

Frankly, she was only wrong for choosing to hook up with someone powerful instead of working hard and becoming strong herself. With her decent master and good talent, she had every opportunity to do so. But she focused on the superficial instead of what mattered most in this world — personal strength.

Granted, it wasn’t necessarily bad to rely on someone… for a time.

In the past, I relied on my master. Kids relied on their parents. Patients relied on doctors.

Relying wasn’t a bad thing in general.

But relying on someone should only ever be a temporary thing. A person should always keep in mind that if they relied on a mountain, that mountain could crumble, and if they relied on a person, that person could fail. It was better, whenever possible, to rely on oneself.

This was a valuable lesson every school-going child in my past-past life learned when forced into a group project with strangers. One where everyone else bails and they’re forced to do the work by themselves…

Seriously though, fuck group projects. Even in the cultivation world, they sucked ass.

***

I stepped in something gross which immediately brought me out of my reverie. It looked a lot like spit so I used the corner of the next step up to scrape it off my shoe.

Frankly, I would have replaced my shoe if I wasn’t positive it would just get dirty again. The urge to use the cleaning technique grew steadily.

I took comfort in the fact that, even after all the time I spent indulging in my memories of the past, we were only around ten or so steps from the top.

Actually, despite this trip up the hill bringing back rough memories from my past life, it was a pleasant hike.

Who didn’t like watching everyone around them struggle while not struggling themselves?

I half expected someone to try and kill us by now. Of course, that could still happen.

Actually, why hadn’t anyone tried to kill us yet? Or made it harder than it should be?

I pulled Little Spring to a stop and looked around. Ah, there it was. An illusion formation was set up just before the top of the hill. The flags were scattered around the area outside of the stone steps. The person who had set them up hid them beside small bushes and large rocks.

Unfortunately for whoever had placed these flags, I was far better with formations than them.

The only issue was that the whole area outside the stairs was no joke. It had been developed as a defensive buffer between the outside world and the sect. Those who decided that it would be a good idea to walk outside of the stairs to make it up the hill without the pressure from the steps weighing them down all came to a bad end.

Even right off the stairs, there were several hidden traps and poisonous spirit beasts. They could immobilize a Qi Condensation cultivator within ten seconds.

I decided that this wouldn’t be a bad time to waste a few mundane weapons and pulled out several knives.

With a flick of the wrist, I threw each one to specific spots.

One cut down the life gate of the formation, another hit the death gate, and the last one hit a flag just to the side of the stairs which toppled the whole thing.

Before I trusted that it was safe to proceed I double-checked the environment first using my divine sense. I wasn’t about to run into another more deeply hidden formation.

Fortunately, there wasn’t one. Either they couldn’t risk putting one up due to the nature of our bet or the people against me thought that I was a dumb kid. Either way, I was about to pass this challenge. Muahahahaha!

“Let’s go!” With a grin, I took the last couple of steps up the mountain.

Then my world shifted.

Little Spring and I found ourselves teleported to a waiting area that had a large stone floor, stone benches, and little alcoves hidden by small trees. The available benches were already taken up by kids who looked half-dead with exhaustion.

A man who wore the robes of an outer sect disciple greeted us with enthusiasm. “Congratulations on making it to the top of the mountain! As long as you do well in the next few challenges you both will almost certainly become inner sect disciples.”

He looked so excited when he told us this. Was he perhaps doing this for the contribution points? For every disciple he greeted enthusiastically he earned another point?

Since there was no reason not to be polite, I bowed, “Thank you, senior.”

“Rest here for now. Once the Trial of Stairs is over the hosts will come to explain the next part.”

Several cultivators who hadn’t managed to get a bench were already resting cross-legged on the floor, readying themselves for what came next. A few of those kids who hadn’t started cultivating laid on the floor, too tired to care about how they looked. Since this area included everyone who passed, including McTraitorFace, we couldn’t tell who had made it to the top of the hill before us.

But this wasn’t time to scout out our opponents. This was a time to rest.

I looked down at the stone floor that had been swept but hadn’t been perfectly cleaned. The urge to use the cleaning technique was like a thorn stuck in my brain.

Too bad I couldn’t, now that I was reduced to the second layer of Qi Condensation.

Never mind, I could just stand.

“Don’t worry! I came prepared,” Little Spring said. He pulled out a blanket and placed it on the ground like a carpet. Then he sat down and started to happily prepare two bowls of buns that I’d seen him steam earlier that morning.

This kid was pretty thoughtful. “Good job!”

As I sat down beside him he grinned then handed me a bowl. “Please try this.”

His eyes glittered with expectation. Our little main character really hadn’t given up on learning immortal cooking.

Well, he put in so much effort, it would be mean if I didn’t eat it… besides it was at the very least edible. And clean! While I refused to cook, that didn’t mean I couldn’t nitpick the sanitary conditions of a kitchen better than a health inspector from my past-past life.

With my constant haranguing about sanitation he’d learned that not only did food with proper handling prevent illness, it also tasted better.

The buns he presented looked white and fluffy with eight perfectly symmetrical folds on the top... I eyed the kid.

“Have you been taking lessons behind my back?”

“No.”

“It looks excellent.”

The tops of his ears turned pink. “Thank you, Fairy Lin.” He fiddled with his own bowl, placing his own buns in a perfect circle, then he looked at me as if waiting for my verdict.

Using a clean pair of chopsticks that I pulled from my ring, I picked up a bun and bit into it. The bread tasted a bit bland, but the texture was spot on. The kid had put pork in this one and had made it overly flavorful. Between the bland bun and the flavorful meat, the combination turned out almost perfect.

I could even feel a little of my spent spiritual energy replenish with each bite.

Little Spring’s nervousness was palpable.

After trying the other types of steamed buns he prepared, I set down my bowl very seriously and looked into his eyes.

“This is your best attempt yet.”

He relaxed.

“My only problem with it is that this is mostly a mundane meal with mostly mundane ingredients. It’s fine when we’re stuck at the second layer but it won’t be acceptable once we’re able to return to our natural cultivation.”

He nodded. “I made it this way because I knew we’d be stuck at the second layer.”

I was about to mention that he should seek out better ingredients, but if he’d done this on purpose knowing we’d only be at the second layer, then that was good forethought on his part.

“In that case, this meal is not bad. Continue to work hard.”

He beamed. “Yes, Fairy Lin!”

This kid was too adorable. As long as he didn't grow up to be like the original Bloodsword, I couldn't see him ever using a friend as a human shield.

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