Chapter 61: Pridiya.
Chapter 61: Pridiya.
Dependency? Was I dependent? It was evident what Pridiya meant when she mentioned dependency. My only dependency could be Mother. I was already aware of it. It would be peculiar if I didn't know that I became anxious whenever Mother was out of sight.
It hadn't always been like this. During my training with Pridiya, my dependency on Mother had been significantly less, just as she had predicted. In fact, I had long understood what amplified my dependency on Mother. Every time I suffered injuries that would have been fatal to an ordinary person, my dependency on Mother deepened. In other words, my dependency on Mother intensified each time I returned from the brink of death.
However, this knowledge didn't mean I could recklessly put myself in danger. The situations I had encountered so far were often ones where others would surely have died if I prioritized self-preservation. I didn't even perceive my growing dependency on Mother negatively.
My disciple. My only disciple."
Pridiya, having sheathed her sword, approached me. Her white fingers gently brushed my neck, wiping the blood off and smiling quietly.
Judging by your expression, it seems you already understand what you're so obsessed with and why."
I nodded silently.
Yes."
Her blue eyes bore into me.
Honestly, I was in high spirits before our swords clashed. I had found what I was looking for. But the moment our swords met, my mood instantly soured. Do you know why?"
Is it because I've strayed from the path of a 'Master'?"
Pridiya, who had taken a step back, tapped her plump lips.
The path of a Master' is not a concept that can be easily distanced or approached. It may seem far away, but in reality, it could be just one step away once you realize it. The reason I'm upset is rather childish. It's a bit embarrassing to admit."
Her icy blue eyes filled with my reflection.
I've never raised a child, but I wonder if this is how a mother feels. It feels like a cunning woman from nowhere has stolen my son, whom I've raised diligently and set on the fastest path to success."
That's very specific. It's unlike you."
That's how wronged I feel."
Pridiya sighed heavily.
Isn't that right, my disciple? You'll understand once you become a Master', but when two weapons clash, it means two hearts' are clashing. Through the exchange of emotions, the two opponents can understand each other a little. Of course, whether they understand or not is entirely up to them."
A warm sensation spread through my hand, which was not holding a sword. Pridiya, who had tightly held my hand with both of hers, spoke to me.
Regardless of what you're dependent on, if you're already deeply dependent on it, forcibly separating you from it will only make you resent me."
Pridiya gently guided my hand to her cheek. Her cheek was incredibly soft. Her blue eyes curved beautifully as they squinted.
I don't want to be resented by you, so I won't act as I please. But keep this."
Something hard and round was slipped onto my left ring finger. Pridiya had put a white ring on my finger. She put on a black ring, identical to the one she had given me, on her own left ring finger.
What is this...?"
It's an ancient relic I brought from the sect. The person wearing the black ring can roughly know where the person wearing the white ring is."
As I fiddled with the white ring, Pridiya continued.
Always wear it. So that I can find you in an instant, wherever you are. I believe my intelligent disciple will quickly realize what this ring signifies."
Yes."
Without explicitly stating it, this ring was the condition for letting me go.
Upon hearing my answer, Pridiya sat down heavily on the dirt floor and patted her shoulder.
Give me a shoulder massage. I have something to tell you before I leave. You can ask anything if you're curious."
Understood."
As I began to massage Pridiya's shoulder, she closed her eyes and surrendered to my touch.
Yeon."
My name was softly called. I responded in a calm voice.
Yes."
A proper relationship does not start with the emotion of dependency'. Excessive dependency' clouds the eyes that see the essence. So always be wary of excessively depending' on something. Even if you try to be aware of it little by little, that alone can change a lot. You're a very intelligent person, so I guarantee you can do it well."
Each word Pridiya carefully uttered was filled with deep concern. I simply nodded in response to her worries.
May I ask a question?"
Go ahead."
You once mentioned that to become a Master', one must liberate their heart from others. How can someone be both a Master and a priest? Can faith' coexist with independence from others?"
Her blue hair fluttered in response.
Indeed, they can coexist. However, Masters typically aren't influenced by the emotion of faith'. They perceive even gods' as mere objects. Thus, Masters aren't disturbed by the emotions that gods blindly instill in us. Just like how I still regard you as my cherished disciple, despite clearly witnessing you expel the divinity of an evil god when you confronted that beast."
You saw that? Even while facing another Master?"
She hummed in affirmation.
As you're aware, becoming a priest of a certain god doesn't necessarily imply deep faith'. It simply means the god has granted you its power. You're merely utilizing the power
because it was bestowed upon you. There, press a little harder. Ah, that's refreshing."
I applied pressure to her shoulder as she directed. She surrendered her body to my touch and spoke softly.
That's why you must become a Master'. I will help you become one. The moment you become a Master', you will discern which of the emotions in your heart are genuinely yours'
and which ones are implanted' by the god you serve."
I slowly opened my mouth to respond to her words.
You knew I was an evil god worshipper."
I had a suspicion."
You also knew that my dependency was on a god'."
This wise and understanding Master is not a fool."
May I ask one last question?"
Her blue eyes softened once again.
Go ahead. You can ask more than one if you wish."
I carefully selected my words. After much consideration, I finally formed a question.
Why are you so kind to me? Wouldn't it be more beneficial for you to take in another disciple who is obedient and intelligent, instead of dealing with troublesome me?"
She grinned.
I thought you were going to ask something difficult, but you asked a very simple question. I'll answer honestly, so don't laugh. If you do, I'll be so embarrassed that my face will turn red for a while."
I won't laugh."
Her white hand gently patted my hand that was massaging her shoulder. She spoke as she patted me.
As a sword of the Flame Church, I've never had people around me in my life. When I was a naive child, I was too busy training to have people around me. During my life as a sword, after the training, I couldn't have people around me because I was busy staining my hands with blood."
Her blue eyes were looking at my face, but what her eyes were seeing was a day from her distant past.
After becoming a Master', I gained freedom with my own hands, but all I wanted was not to stain my hands with blood according to someone else's command. I didn't desire freedom'. So, I chose to be a relic keeper and fade into obscurity. Well, I did occasionally help those who somehow found me and asked for help, but I never had people around me. I didn't even realize I was alone because I had never had anyone around me."
Her eyes, which had been looking at the past, took in my face. They took in a lot.
Then one day, I met you'. The happiness I felt during the three years I spent with you was far greater than all the happiness I had experienced in my life. It was incredibly great. And the sense of loss I felt when you disappeared and I was left alone in the house was unbearably bitter."
Her gentle hand stroked my cheek. She spun her words like a song.
I can't go back to being the me who lived alone without knowing anything. I need you and cherish you. I'm very happy when I'm with you."
Her blue eyes twinkled with the moonlight.
Is that a sufficient explanation?"
I grinned.
I'm the one who's embarrassed to hear it."
Don't laugh. I might just run away... Always look after yourself in my absence. I'll be upset if I return to find you hurt."
I'll try my best."
Make sure you do."
Master Pridiya left to complete the task given by the queen after that. That night, I stroked Mother's hand, who had been silent in front of Master.
I still believe in you, Mother."
Kill.'
It was always a short word, but because of the complex mix of emotions, for the first time, I couldn't understand exactly what Mother wanted to say.
The only thing I could understand was the deep sense of regret buried in the gloom.
I just gently stroked Mother's hand. Until dawn.
Kill!'
The next day, Mother returned to her usual self. I cautiously asked her what she meant the night before.
Kill...?'
But Mother didn't remember anything about last night. Strangely enough.
* * *
The next day, Dachia and I embarked on a journey towards the coordinates written on the key to the ancient ruins given by the demon.
According to the map, the location where the ancient ruins lay dormant was a mountainous area five days' walk from the capital.
It was finally time to unlock the seal of the holy relic, gain new power based on the obtained divinity, and also acquire the ancient artifact.
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